Embracing the Darkness
by Isambard
Summary: When Raven is unwillingly turned into a vampire she is faced with a simple decision. She can either adapt to the changes in her life or let them destroy her. CHAP. 10 DELAYED. Please, please R&R.
1. Prologue The Path of Virtue

Author's Note – After reading several stories using the concept of a vampire Raven, I thought I'd try my hand at it. This is the prologue, if it receives a positive enough response I'll continue.

Disclaimer – I have never and will never own Teen Titans

Prologue: The Path of Virtue

The sharp ringing of my alarm clock sounded off into the night. I sprang up in bed to silence it to keep from waking the others. In truth I didn't even need the alarm any more, I only set it as a formality. As hard as I tried, I simply couldn't sleep anymore. After noting the time was around two in the morning, I quietly set down the clock and took the time to listen for any sound in the tower that would point to anyone being awake at this hour. I trained my ears to pick up anything that could be heard beyond the darkened walls of my room.

I had grown accustomed to the sounds my teammates produced as they sleep. The sound of soft whimpering, snoring, relaxed breathing and the telltale hum of Cyborg's charging equipment all told me the same thing, I was the only one awake at this hour. It was for the best anyway. I needed absolute privacy for what I was about to do. I knew for a fact no one would dare enter my room without permission. However, It was too great a risk to be caught. They could never know what had happened to me, no one could.

Restraining my excitement and anticipation I slowly stood atop my mattress, standing within the confines of the large ornate canopy that rose over my bed. The domed curvature of the canopy's interior was covered in black fabric to cover up the bare woodwork within. Running my hands over the dark material I eventually found a small, barely noticeable cut I had made in the cloth months ago. It proved to be the perfect hiding place, much better than simply hiding everything in a drawer or in my closet.

Reaching a hand into the thin opening, I first retrieved a small glass followed by an old, barely full Coke bottle. My mouth watered at the sight of the liquid, however little of it was left at this point. I ducked out from under the canopy and slowly made my way over to my desk. If I had a lesser will I would probably have run as fast as my legs would carry me. Still, I managed to control myself, moving at a leisurely pace as I placed to bottle and glass upon the desk before taking a seat in front of the arrangement.

With my hands trembling I took the bottle in hand and attempted to remove the cap. Some of the sticky fluid had dried around the cap, making it difficult to open. After applying a great deal of force, with a slight amount of desperation seeping into my actions, the cap finally came loose and turned. Holding the slightly crumpled plastic bottle in my left hand I then took the glass in my right and quickly poured the contents out. Now my whole body was trembling with anticipation as I took the filled glass in hand. No matter how badly I was shaking, I still managed to bring the glass along with its contents to my lips and began to drink.

I don't think I ever will be able to describe how blood tastes to me. Before it had a very tangible salty taste to it on the rare occasion that I'd been beaten badly enough in a fight. But now the flavor had changed drastically. It tasted like the most wonderfully delicious food that had ever passed my lips in my entire life. As the thick liquid rushed past my teeth and coated my tongue on it's way down my throat I was in paradise. I couldn't help but moan pleasantly as I swallowed.

This was ambrosia, the food of the gods that conferred immortality upon those who ingested it. However I know that's not true, I'm not arrogant. This was the food of the devil that sustained my newfound immortality by destroying the lives of innocent people. That's how I felt back then, at least. After finishing it took an extra amount of willpower to keep from licking at the blood that had congealed to the bottom of the glass. My hunger, although slightly satisfied, was still there and would only get worse as time went on.

In the months after my change, I'd sustained myself by siphoning blood from the emergency supply in the infirmary at Titans Tower. I could only take so much, though, so as not to raise suspicion. It was for this reason that I found myself slowly starving to death, if death ever came for someone like me.

After placing the now empty bottle and glass back in their hiding place I collapsed into my bed, not caring to draw the sheets over my form. I constantly felt exhausted in addition to the feeling of starvation like a great vice being tightened around my stomach. Thankfully my powers weren't dependent on my physical strength, which still meant I was of use to the team. But still, I wondered how long it would take for them to notice what had happened to me. I reasoned that they would have to some day. And so, unable to sleep, unable to eat, I lay on my back staring up into the darkness, waiting for a morning that would never come.


	2. Chapter 1 Two Weeks Earlier

Author's Note – After reading several stories using the concept of a vampire Raven, I thought I'd try my hand at it.

Disclaimer – I have never and will never own Teen Titans

Chapter 1: Two Weeks Earlier

For my whole life, I've been the outsider, the "Goth," the creepy one (as Beast Boy so eloquently put it). Like a single grain of pepper accidentally mixed in with a handful of salt, I stand out. I suppose I'd lived that way so long I couldn't even begin to imagine living any other way. However, whenever looked at my friends and how much more colorful, how much brighter their lives were, I couldn't help but feel a slight pang of jealousy. They had these unusual characteristics and abilities yet still managed to enjoy relatively normal lives along with the things normal people enjoy. I, on the other hand, had to pay a price for my physical prodigy.

To put it simply, my telepathic and psychokinetic abilities are driven by emotional intensity. The stronger the emotion, the stronger, and unfortunately, more uncontrollable the resulting burst of energy. As a result, I am in a constant battle with my own emotions. I have to keep them under strict control for fear of what could happen if I expressed them unchecked. In addition, I was in constant conflict with an evil that dwelled within my very being. I knew someday that darkness would win out either by my own volition or the will of some outside force.

It is for this reason that I cherished the time I had then because everything seemed so finite. My whole life had been based on maintaining a control over my mind and body, therefore, when this happened to me it didn't change my outlook on life a great deal.

How long ago had it happened by then? Was it a week, a month, or maybe it had already been a year by then. For me time no longer seemed to exist, the days seemed to blur together. But still, despite all that I could vividly recall how it happened.

It was a night that started just like any number of others before it. My late night ritual was proceeding like it always had. After having dinner with the others I'd take the time to meditate one last time, a cup of tea at the ready on my nightstand. Afterwards I'd spend the rest of the evening reading a book from my private collection. I'm a bibliophile I happily admit it. I'd imagine I'm probably one of the only people my age that prides herself on having a rare book collection. Less than half of them are really worth anything, but to the right collector that would still place their value at hundreds of thousands of dollars. I wonder if Beast Boy would think more highly of them if he knew that?

My evening meditation period would normally take anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half. Normally I'd be finished by around 7:30. On this particular night, as I lowered myself from my cross-legged levitated position over my bed, it was no different. During my meditation I'd stop periodically for a sip of tea while it was still hot. Now I drank what little was left in the cup and, finished for the night, headed over to my bookcase. The volume's titles, etched into the binding and highlighted with gilding, greeted my like old friends from their respective shelves.

The evening ritual continued as I selected one to read briefly before turning in. As I was becoming absorbed in my reading I was suddenly interrupted by the sound of hurried footsteps outside in the hall followed by a sharp pounding on my door.

"C'mon Raven, it's movie night," a certain changeling stated far too enthusiastically for my tastes.

Instinctively I slammed my book shut and hoped he heard the dull thud it created. I hoped he could feel my annoyance radiating through the very door that separated us. In my heart I knew he meant well by trying to get me to participate, but at the time I couldn't help but feel he did this to spite me.

Giving Beast Boy the chance to knock once again, perhaps showing a little impatience at my total lack of a response, I crossed the ground between the door and myself. Upon opening it I found him standing there with an impossible grin on his face, holding a single DVD case in his hand baring the unmistakable logo of a nearby video rental store. I'd seen all I needed to in order to figure out what type of movie would be playing.

"You'll never believe this. I went to the store looking for a copy of "Space Leech 4: The Mini Series and they didn't have it. But I didn't give up and I found this," he said holding up the video case. "I got the last copy of 'Wicked Scary 2: The Second Coming - 10th Anniversary Special Edition!' I'm pretty proud of that myself. So, you coming?"

The movie's title caught my attention rather easily, the memory of the prequel's affect on me still fresh in my mind. "No thank you, good night," I said hoping to end this quickly and return to my book.

"Aw, come on Raven. This thing has everything you could ever want in a movie."

"Really, let me guess. It has cheesy dialogue, a simple plot involving some monster killing a bunch of idiotic teens in the most horrible ways imaginable complete with the undeniable possibility that one of the actresses is going to show some skin. You're right, what more could I want from a movie." I hoped my sarcasm was as scathing as I was trying to make it.

"Ha, I knew you'd see things my way. Hurry up if you want a seat." Apparently it hadn't been.

I sighed deeply, becoming more exasperated as the conversation continued. "I'm not interested Beast Boy. Now, good night."

As I turned allowing the door to close, the changeling tried briefly to hold the door open. "Come on Raven, I promise you'll love this movie, its got…"

"NO!" He leapt back away from the door; finally realizing his prodding was only annoying me. The door finally closed and I could hear his footsteps continue down the hall at a much slower, more deliberate pace than they had before. He was apparently quite crestfallen from his failure to draw me out. But…. I just couldn't that night. All I wanted was to relax with my book. All I wanted was a little peace and quiet just for tonight. Yet, it appeared that I was to be denied that as well. A big loud movie meant big loud volume, which meant big loud reactions from an attentive audience. This meant either forcing myself to watch the movie with the others or finding something to occupy myself for the next ninety minutes.

I chose the latter. A little fresh air and a walk would do me some good, despite how late it was. Slipping on my shoes and wrapping my cloak around my form, I left my own room and made my way to the tower's main living space. As I entered Beast Boy was already in the middle of a longwinded speech to the others about how Wicked Scary II (etcetera, etcetera) was way more of a cursed film than the previous one was or some such rubbish.

Once he had finished his explanation I finally spoke up. "I'm heading out for a walk, I'll keep this if anything comes up," I held up my communicator to prove I wasn't so desperate for some quiet-time that I'd leave it behind.

"Friend Raven, are you sure you wish to leave? Beast Boy has purchased a movie of horror and is about to present it to us. In addition, we have popped corn and carbonated beverages and unhealthy sugar candies," Starfire spoke with a rather content looking Silkie resting in her lap.

"I've already been through this with Beast Boy. Thank you but no. I just want to get out for a little bit if that's alright."

"Sure its cool. Just be back before ten unless you wanna get locked out," Cyborg spoke without turning away from the television.

I nodded my approval of his terms and turned to leave. Just as I was about to enter the stairwell on my way down to the main hall I was stopped by the soft yet sudden utterance of my name.

"Raven?"

"Yes Starfire?" I turned acknowledging the red-haired Tamarinian.

"Your refusal to join us in watching Beast Boy's film of horror does not stem from what happened the last time we viewed such a film, does it?"

"No," I lied, "it's nothing like that. I just don't feel like a movie tonight. I'll see you in the morning."

"Are you sure Raven?"

I nodded, "You'd best hurry up or else you'll miss the beginning."

"Very well friend Raven. Do be careful, though." It seemed funny at the time, telling me, of all people, to be careful. I didn't see any danger at all. The time was 8:30.

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It was a beautiful night, the kind of night that, if enjoyed properly, can stay fresh in your memory for long afterwards. The sea was sparklingly calm, not a cloud in the sky, there was no moon but stars simply littered the heavens like diamonds sewn into an elegant sheet of black velvet. It was on just such a night, almost a century ago, that the _Titanic_ struck an iceberg and sank killing 1500 of her passengers and crew. Certainly history proved that nights like these could belie their benign appearances.

Across the bay from Titans Tower was McGauvrin Park, a large accumulation of nature's wonders no doubt named for some influential philanthropist. I would come here by myself on occasion mainly for the enclosed garden within which proved to be an enjoyable place for meditation as well as simple relaxation. Approaching the park from the bay one would first come upon the beach, at this time of night completely deserted. Then the terrain rose upwards sharply leading up to the park itself. The garden itself was a large rectangular maze encompassing numerous arrangements of flowers. During the daytime hours it was a veritable cornucopia of colors, sights, and sounds. At night it lost this effect but it would still suit my purposes well.

After ascending a flight of stone steps from the beach I came to a section of the park's paved walkway. To my right stood the tall brick walls of the garden, which seemed almost forbidding at this time of night. They were covered with plant growth in areas that gave them a feel that was in keeping with the park's atmosphere. It was a haven for the natural world in a city overrun with many signs of industry and technology. The elements of civilization took a back seat to the flora and fauna just as the vines and covered the brick walls.

A paved walkway ran along the wall towards the entrance, a large archway leading into the garden. On either side of the opening, the two halves of a poem were etched into the masonry. Combined, the two halves read "whosoever enters here let him beware for he shall nevermore escape or be free of my spell." To my minor disappointment I found the entrance blocked by a large steel gate. The area had been closed for the night to keep out vandals and loiterers, although the barriers effects had proven to be limited. However such an insubstantial obstacle would not impede me, being neither a vandal nor a loiterer. Using my powers I phased through the gate glad to be at last within the confines of this peaceful place.

I'd now have enough time for a short walk before heading home. At the far end of the garden stood a small faux-Greek temple, eight columns supporting a rectangular roof over what had once been a fountain. I decided that would be my destination. Drawing my cloak in around myself to keep warm against the chill of the night, I started.

At this time of night everything was bathed in darkness. Not even the brightest flower could stand out at this time of night. Without any lights in this area of the park, all I had to keep me company were the vague shapes of floral arrangements here and there and the impenetrable silence that surrounded me. Yet, I could not shake the feeling that something was amiss. As I continued deeper into the garden I felt an unmistakable sensation of instinctive unease. But "I don't do fear." I wasn't about to let this send me flying back home before that horrid movie ended. I'd sooner spend the night in this place.

After a short while of walking I finally reached the structure at the far end of the complex. Clearly it had seen far better days. The stonework was cracked and chipped in numerous areas. The steps leading up to the building could hardly be called steps. The banisters had long since fallen over and been removed entirely. There were areas on the steps that could only have been ruined (as far as I could tell) by someone hammering away at them with a sledgehammer. Thankfully, the structure itself was still standing, although the ceiling had caved in slightly around the center. Enclosed sitting areas located at the far corners of the garden complex itself were derelict and filled with trash and refuse.

I imagined how this place must have looked decades ago when it was in a much better state. I imagined pristine stone steps decorated on either end with intricately designed banisters each capped off with large pots overflowing with flowers. The steps would lead upwards and between the columns into the structure itself. The ceiling would be vaulted as well as painted with the image of a starry night with angelic figures positioned at the four corners of the rectangular image. In the center of it all was a small fountain. Although today it had long since been deactivated and had filled with rainwater and filth I could imagine how it had appeared in better days. It would have been filled with crystal clear water, water you could practically drink for its purity. The fountains basin would be decorated with light blue tiling and the water would flow from the mouth of a….I could not, for the life of me, imagine what stood in the center of it all. I guessed it was some sort of statue but could not guess the type. It was long gone in any event, the iron fittings all that remained.

As I stood before the ruined fountain, wondering what could have stood there, the answer came to me not from my own mind, but from a voice emanating from behind me.

"It was a cherub, if I remember correctly, miss," the voice was that of a soft-spoken male, perhaps middle-aged, and had the tinge of a British accent to it.

Instinctively, I whirled on this unknown presence, thrusting my hands out before me, black energy crackling at my fingertips. It was here that I saw him for the first time. His form was merely a dark silhouette outlined against the night sky, yet I could discern that he was caught off guard the sudden manifestation of my power.

"I apologize, I didn't mean to startle you. I'm afraid they locked me," he said holding up his hands as if in his own defense while backing away slightly. "I've been wandering around here aimlessly for the past few hours until I saw you walking about so I followed. Again, I apologize for frightening you, it was not my intention."

"I don't do fear," I lied again. "You simply caught me off guard, that's all." By now I had relaxed from my attack stance as the stranger fell back from his defensive posture and had drawn closer to me to the point where, even in the dark, I could make out his features. He was only slightly taller than myself, his hair styled in a conservative fashion. He wore a dark overcoat over his business suit while his gloved hands gripped a silver wolf's head cane. His face had the appearance of a man who had aged considerably and probably didn't want to age any further. His eyes were slightly sunken into his skull yet it wasn't so prominent that it was grotesque.

"Oh, my. You're Raven of the Teen Titans," he exclaimed upon recognizing me. "I consider it an immense honor to meet you, of all people, in such a place. The exploits of you and your comrades are legendary. This city must owe you a great debt of gratitude."

After shaking hands for a moment I interrupted his excitement, "Well, you know my name, so may I know yours?"

"Why certainly, I am Barnabas Collins, at your service. I haven't been to Jump City in a great many years and it saddens me to find the garden at McGauvrin Park in such a state of disrepair. In all my years I would have never though that things would degrade to the point that the roof over the fountain here would cave in, let alone that some foul criminal would steal the cherub statue." As if reminded now of how we'd started this conversation, Barnabas turned and walked steadily towards the dead fountain. He moved rather slowly as he walked, as if he had all the time in the world. He moved and sat on the partition surrounding the display and motioned for me to sit opposite him.

"Yes," he continued, "it was a bronze cherub mounted directly in the center where you now see the ruined base and broken piping. I was here the day this place opened, you know. It was beautiful to say the least. Everything was brand new, unspoiled, pure and refined. I cannot even begin to imagine how anyone could be so callous as to let it this place fall apart like this. Yet, I can imagine the miscreants whose combined efforts over the years ruined this place. They have no respect for anything. They defecate in the already putrid water; they destroy for the mere sake of destroying. They commit debaucheries in the sitting areas when they get the chance, leaving behind used condoms and other such rubbish. They know neither respect nor dignity. To my mind those who commit the acts themselves and those who sit idly by and do nothing are equally guilty."

"You don't sound like much of a people person Mr. Collins," I said interrupting his rant.

"I'd imagine you aren't much of one either, Raven. Why else would you abandon your friends to wander aimlessly around this derelict at this hour?"

"I have my reasons for valuing solitude. I honestly don't hate other people. I have my friends and I'm happy to be with them. Its just that I wish…"

"That you had people around who are more like yourself, am I correct? People who would understand you. You really do stand out from the other Titans." I couldn't help but remember hearing this line of dialogue before. The dragon Malchior had used this pitch, this weakness on my part to manipulate me into freeing him from his literary prison. I didn't feel like talking about my personal problems anymore after that, especially with a total stranger.

"I suppose that's part of it. But still, I don't see a reason to blame people solely for this place falling apart," I said returning the conversation to its origins. "Things simply fall apart over time. Nothing lasts forever."

"How very true," he stared thoughtfully at the filthy water in the fountain. "The passage of time is the force that can tear down even the strongest of buildings and reduce even the strongest man to a trembling old wretch. I suppose that I simply dislike change and look for some force to blame other than natural decay. We always feel the need to look for scapegoats, people to blame when something goes wrong. We are far more comfortable placing blame on human error than on simple coincidence, it gives us the illusion that we have control over this very mysterious and capricious world that we live in.

But, enough of my thoughts about society, what about you Raven? How do you feel about change? How do you feel about time and its affects on the world," he now started speaking in a disturbingly excited manner, as though he were trying to make some profound impression on me with his words. "How do you feel about growing old and decrepit while the world around you becomes more and more unrecognizable with each passing decade? If you could, would you stop time now when you're happy with your beloved friends would you?"

With that he awaited my response in silence, quietly yet intently studying my face. The unease I had felt earlier was starting to return to me beneath his striking gaze. I wanted to leave; I wanted to head home even if that movie was still playing. Yet, at the same time, I couldn't help but consider his words. There was a change I did despise, one I would love to put off indefinitely. The day was fast approaching when I would lose in my battle against my evil self. I truly wouldn't mind if I could stop time to avoid that moment entirely.

"I suppose if I could, then I would," I finally spoke only to hear no response at all. Barnabas had vanished entirely while I had been lost in my thoughts. I stood up and scanned the scene wondering where he had gone. There was simply no way he could have left so quickly without my noticing, let alone with the garden's gate locked from the outside.

A sudden powerful blow to the back of my head knocked me forward onto the stone floor. I fell at such a rate that I didn't have the time to put my hands out in front of me so I fell face first into the cold hard ground. A terrible, chronic pain engulfed the back of my skull as well as my face. I couldn't move, I couldn't think, all I knew at this moment was that I had to stand up and defend myself at any cost. As I attempted to pick myself up a vice-like grip encircled both my wrists and pulled my arms out behind me.

It was now or never, I had no choice but to attack. Not caring what damage my powers would do I immediately began uttering my mantra. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinth…" I was halted in the middle of the recitation. Even as my eyes glowed white and dangerous black energy formed in my hands, the body of my attacker, who no doubt was Barnabas, pressed firmly into my back as he bit down with great force on the left side of my neck. I couldn't help but yelp in pain as his teeth pierced deep into my skin. The true nature of what was happening hit home with a force that exceeded even the blow I'd received from the monster's cane. "Vampire," was all I could manage to gasp against the pain.

The sudden rush of emotions and sensations that this action brought on broke all concentration I had mustered. The telepathic energy I had gathered, as quickly as it manifested, now dissipated. A strong suction suddenly sprang forth from the bite as I now felt my very life being drained out of me. I felt myself becoming weaker and weaker. I gasped for breath only to take in small panic breaths. Barnabas no longer needed to restrain my hands; they fell limply at my sides. He now needed to support me in this kneeling position I'd found myself in. All throughout this experience an impotent anger raged within me. If there was anything I truly hated it was being the victim, being placed into a situation over which I had not control. Now here I was, slowly dieing at the hands of this monster and unable to do a thing to stop it.

As time passed, as I felt myself weakened to a point at which I thought I would pass out, the monster relented, laying me down on my back and looking down upon me with an excitement in his eyes that only sparked my anger to new heights. I struggled to breathe with what little strength I had in my body and looked upwards into his face with blurred vision. As the monster wiped traces of my blood from his lips with a handkerchief, it was now that he finally decided to restart our conversation from where it had left off.

"I have found over the years, Raven, that a person's eyes can be quite eloquent. They can speak volumes about what a person is feeling or thinking at any given moment. Your eyes told me your answer to my questioning before you even spoke it which brings us to this moment and the question I am about to ask you. The question will require only a simple yes or no on your part. I can stop time for you Raven; I can make it so that change will never come for you. You will be immune completely to the ravages of time and of decay. I can do that for you Raven or I can simply leave you here to die, it's your choice. You can have a death that I imagine will make front-page news around the country or you can live without having to worry about that change you fear so. What is your decision?"

Looking back on this moment, I still am uncertain of what my decision would have been if I could have thought it over clearly. However, at that time my mind engulfed in a horrendous cacophony of stray thoughts and feelings. All I wanted at that moment was to survive this injury, to see my friends again, and to someday have my revenge on this bastard for doing this to me. I agreed to his proposition readily and without consideration.

Resting his cane on the floor nearby, he knelt before me and brought forward his right hand. Lightly tugging at the black leather material surrounding each finger, he began to remove the glove from his hand and pull back the sleeve of his coat to bare his wrist. He then proceeded to bit down on his wrist in such a way that blood now flowed freely from the self-inflicted wound. He now turned his attention towards me once more.

"Now, my dear, please do try not to scream too loudly. I think it is only fair to warn you that this _will_ hurt a great deal. But the pain won't last. Try to think of it in the same manner as you'd think of receiving a vaccine. The injection will initially hurt, but you will be bettered by the experience for having gone through it." In a single motion he thrust his bleeding wrist directly into my mouth and held it there with such force I felt that my jaw would snap under the strain. The monster then proceeded to clench his fist in order to force the blood to seep out at a greater rate.

It was to my utter revulsion that I felt the thick liquid flow freely into my mouth and slowly down my throat. I felt that I would be sick at any moment from this. However, I didn't have time to get sick, in fact I didn't have much time to do anything as the first searing hints of pain began to emanate from my stomach. As more and more of the monster's horrid blood entered my system the pain began to grow and spread throughout my entire body. It felt as though every fiber of my being was engulfed in a terrible inferno from my muscles, to my limbs, and even to my eyes and my very bones themselves.

By now the monster had removed his wrist from my mouth and merely sat and watched as I writhed in agony. I clenched my eyelids shut and all that escaped my lips were muffled cries, I'm rather proud of the fact that I maintained at least some control over that. Throughout this whole experience I could hear my heart beating louder than I had ever heard it. It was a pounding akin to the sound of a hammer striking an anvil. Less and less time passed between beats as my heart worked faster and faster to handle the emotional and physical strain my body was enduring. It eventually reached the point where I thought my heart would burst under the strain of it all.

It was then, as I felt that if this continued any longer I would go insane, it ended. The pain slowly dissipated, fading away like a bad dream. In fact, everything was slowly fading away. The sound of my heart beating had vanished completely. I could no longer feel the cold stone floor beneath me. As I opened my eyes, seemingly for the last time, I could see the monster looking down at me. He appeared now just as he looked the first time I'd seen him, nothing more than a black silhouette painted against an impossibly starry night sky. That image too began to fade until all I saw was darkness. I felt nothing, I heard nothing, and I saw nothing. All I knew was an endless void of darkness. "So, this is what its like to die," I thought at last.


	3. Chapter 2 Rebirth

Author's Note – Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. It is heartening to read them. Here's the second chapter. I have mixed feelings about how it came out and may consider revising it in the future. Then again I may just be a pessimist…

Disclaimer – I have never and will never own Teen Titans

Chapter 2 – Rebirth

Laser powered handguns were first produced by weapons manufacturers several years ago. First they were distributed to military and law enforcement officials then one year later they were made available to the general public. It was hailed by many as the "safest" firearm money could buy. Its main selling point was the ability to regulate how powerful a blast it gave off. It was totally ineffective on its lowest setting, a stun gun on its medium setting, and it only truly became a lethal weapon when on its highest setting. By contrast an older gun is never anything but lethal. While members of the NRA initially and still do reject it in favor of older projectile weapons, a safety conscious public readily embraced ray guns. These days you'd be hard pressed to find anyone, cop or criminal, who doesn't use it as his or her primary weapon.

One man, however, took the concept and ran with it. He devised an entire suit capable of generating beams of light so powerful that, on one occasion, they melted an entire armored truck into a shapeless mass of steel. That man was Dr. Light. What I remember most about Dr. Light has nothing to do with the man, his personality, his abilities, or his goals. What I will always remember is the manner in which I defeated him.

I will always remember his screams, his pleas, his declarations of surrender, and how much I enjoyed it all. The twisted smile I wore throughout the whole ordeal was testament enough to that. Light had to spend some time in a psychiatric ward afterwards. It was one of the only times I've ever felt remorse for a villain. To this day whenever he tries something all I have to do is show up on the scene and he'll give up.

Sometimes I wonder if that thing that attacked Dr. Light was the _real _me. If maybe all these years all that I've been suppressing is my true self. That deep down I always have been and always will be "daddy's little girl." It is then that I hurriedly dismiss all those thoughts and meditate to clear my mind. I am not a monster, I refuse to believe that I am, and I refuse to become one…

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There was peace…. yes there was, I remember that much although everything else is a total blank. While I am unable to recall where exactly I was after I'd lost consciousness I know that there was peace and that I was happy there. I then felt a profound feeling of displacement as the peace and happiness I felt were suddenly and violently shattered. It was then that, like a happy fish that is suddenly caught in a fisherman's net and dragged gasping to the suffocating surface, I awoke.

I felt incredibly disoriented, as though I'd just been awoken from a deep slumber. My memory of the night before was just as disoriented, bits and pieces here and there but nothing resembling a clear picture. My mind at first reasoned that I was sealed in a room whose perimeter was surrounded with fabric. It took me only a moment to realize that this was merely a white bed sheet that had been pulled up and over my head. Pulling the sheet down I found myself in a bed in the infirmary of Titans Tower. There were a total of five beds each mounted to the floor along the full length of the rectangular shaped room. On the wall over each bed was mounted a computer display that would show the patients vitals when turned on. The one over my bed was inactive.

Although my senses were fuzzy in these first few moments, I still could discern that the room was reasonably while a scant amount of sunlight came in through the drawn curtains. I also found it unusual that no one was here when I awoke. Even if the others hadn't been my friends it was simply common courtesy to at least have someone wait by my bed when I was in this state. But, what state was I in? Aside from slight pangs of hunger and a general feeling of exhaustion I felt perfectly fine. Why then had I awoken to find myself in the infirmary?

Propping myself up on my elbows, I attempted to sit up. As I lifted my body from the mattress I felt a slight stiffness in the left side of my neck. Once I'd moved myself completely into a sitting position I brought a hand to my neck and felt the cushiony material of a large bandage, the pressure I now applied to the region created a slight, dull ache.

Looking to my right I found my blue cloak hanging on a coat hook mounted upon the wall. Swinging my legs out from under the covers and off of the bed I found that whoever had taken off my cloak hadn't bothered to remove my shoes in the process. Despite my exhaustion I managed to stand quite easily upon the infirmary's tiled floor, only stumbling slightly as I attempted to walk. As I motioned to reclaim my cloak I stopped at the last moment as I noted the large bloodstain whose position on the left side at the collar matched the location of my bandage.

"I'll just get another when I get back to my room," I spoke aloud.

It was now that a faint sound finally pierced the silent din that had hung over this room since the moment I'd awoken. It seemed to emanate from the supply closet at the other end of the room. As I listened closely to the sound I soon realized that I was hearing voices, specifically those of my teammates. Whatever their conversation, it was muffled by whatever distance lay between us. Yet, above the muffled dialogue I could discern one clear sound. I could hear someone crying. From the slight traces of her voice that leaked into each painful sob I could tell that the one I heard was Starfire.

As I stood there wondering what she could be crying about, the answer finally came to me and gave my situation some semblance of sense at last. The fact that I'd awoken alone in the infirmary, finding all the equipment shut off, the bed sheet pulled over my body, and Starfire's crying all seemed to point to one ridiculous (at the time) conclusion. They'd thought I was dead.

I wanted to laugh. Here I was feeling perfectly fine in the infirmary and they were just a few feet away mourning my apparent death. Yet, at the same time I felt for them a great reverence. In spite of my personality, my mannerisms, and how unapproachable I must have seemed they still cared about me this much. I wanted very much to alleviate their pain, to let them know that I was alright. With that goal in mind I strode across the full length of the room towards the door to the supply closet. While it did seem unusual that they should be in there I ventured a guess that they'd gone in there after my apparent death to discuss the situation while still being close to my body.

Once I'd reached the door I took hold of the knob cautiously. I had no way of knowing how they'd react to my miraculous revival. I wondered whether they'd be shocked or overjoyed upon seeing me. I would certainly be interesting to see their reactions. With that thought, I slowly opened the door and stepped over the threshold.

"You know, you really should wait before jumping to conclusions about my health. See, I'm not…dead," I found the room to be totally devoid of life. My teammates were nowhere to be found. The supply closet wasn't so much a closet as it was a small room adjacent to the infirmary. Its walls were lined with shelves containing every conceivable medical instrument or substance while large cardboard boxes were stacked on the floor here and there throughout. I roamed the room half expecting to find my friends hiding behind one of the piles of boxes. I was completely alone here. Yet still I could hear their voices.

I moved towards the center of the room to gain my bearings and trained my ears to the sound of their conversation. I soon realized that the sound was not coming from this room but from the main common room of Titans Tower, two stories up from where I stood. But…that was impossible. Although I considered my hearing to be good, I knew it certainly couldn't be that good, however muffled the conversation sounded. Was I merely hearing things? Was I going insane? I rubbed at my ears in the same manner one would to swat away a buzzing fly but to no avail. I could still hear them talking.

As I considered this newfound dilemma my senses were suddenly overpowered by a different sensation. A scent that at first had been barely noticeable once I'd entered the supply closet now had become an incredibly intoxicating aroma. It gained so much of my attention that my surprisingly strengthened hearing was pushed aside for the moment. This wonderful fragrance tempted my nostrils with the promise of unspeakable pleasure. I needed to find the source, wherever it was.

With a strange desperation I found myself searching shelf after shelf of medical equipment and substances ranging from alcohol to distilled water, disinfectant to syringes. All the while I sniffed at the air straining myself to find the object of my search. At last I was lead to a small refrigerator stored on the floor at the farthest corner of the room. As I drew closer to it the scent as well as the previously minor pangs of hunger became increasingly more palpable and intense. I knelt before the device and sniffed the air one final time. There was no doubt whatever lay inside was the source of this enchanting aroma.

Upon opening the door I at last found the source of the scent that had mystified me till now. This was the infirmary's supply of blood meant for transfusions. The shelves of the refrigerator were stacked full of IV bags filled with human blood. However, all my hunger strained eyes could discern before me were shelves upon shelves of food, all of it for me. My instincts took over completely as I reached out to claim the first bag my hand could touch.

Trembling with anticipation and completely lacking rational thought I brought the small plastic bag to my mouth and bit down on the material as hard as I could. My teeth pierced through the plastic with ease and I then began to drink the liquid now flowing form the tear I'd made. This was truly a day of firsts for me. At the time all of them were eventually received as mixed blessings. Yet, none of the negative aspects of my actions reached my mind, as I tasted blood for the first time. All my thoughts revolved around the magnificent taste that was now claiming my mouth. No delicacy I'd sampled before or since could equal this experience in sheer intensity or ecstasy.

I closed my eyes, savoring every sensation that rippled through my being. As I drank I felt a tender warmth begin to form in the pit of my stomach and spread slowly throughout the entirety of my body. It felt very much like slipping into a warm bath. Every ounce of fatigue and pain I'd felt before was washed away. The dull ache of my neck wound became nothing more than a memory. I found myself clenching both sides of the IV bag with my hands; desperately forcing what little blood remained out in one great burst.

Once it was over I rested on the floor with the emptied IV bag still in hand, my eyes closed, a pleased smile tugging at the corners of my lips, savoring the afterglow of what I'd just experienced. After I'd recovered from what had just transpired, I opened my eyes and experienced the world as though it were for the first time.

Consuming the blood had apparently had a vitalizing affect on me. As I gazed at my surroundings I now saw them in incredible detail. I must have spent at least five minutes simply reading the labels on shelved bottles from a distance. In addition, if I listened closely to the conversation above me I could actually make out what was being said as well as who was speaking.

"God damn it!" I heard a sudden pounding sound as though someone struck a wall with their fists. "It's all my fault. I should never have rented that stupid movie. I practically ran her out of here with it. And now she's dead cause' of me. The second girl to die cause' of me. I must have all the luck," Beast Boy was seemingly yelling at himself rather than any other person.

"B, calm down alright. You could never have known this was gonna happen. None of us could've," Cyborg spoke assuringly. "You're not to blame."

"Cyborg, shut up! I may not have known this was gonna happen. But it doesn't change the fact that I was the one who rented the stupid movie, I was the one who went waving it in her face, I was the one responsible. If I'd never rented that movie she'd never have left and then she'd still be alive!"

"Beast Boy, calm down," here was the voice of authority, the commanding demeanor of the team leader Robin. "No one here is to blame for this. The only person responsible is the one who did this to Raven. Whoever it is we'll find them and bring them to justice."

Now Starfire's pained crying, which had continued throughout what I'd heard of the conversation ended and I at last heard her voice. It was devoid of all the sorrow and distress that that terrible sobbing carried with it. This was a voice filled with a raging anger the likes of which I'd never heard from the alien. "Direct me towards the degenerate responsible for this and I shall have them here in chains within the hour," she seethed.

"Star, I'm sorry but it's just not that simple. Whoever did this didn't leave a trace I could find at the scene. They didn't leave any fingerprints and all the blood around the….body…..was Raven's. Without any witnesses, any evidence, or any suspects it could have been anyone. Brother Blood could've done it, or Mumbo, or it could have just been some random psycho who got lucky. Hell, with what we know I wouldn't even cross Slade off the list."

"Then we shall visit them all and find out the truth. Raven, our friend, is dead. Do you understand? We cannot just sit idly by and let this pass. We must act, and we must act now!"

If I'd awoken in the infirmary under any other circumstances I'd have rushed up to calm the situation down. I'd have revealed my "resurrection" to the others and things would have gone smoothly from there. I'd have headed up there and prevented Starfire from doing anything rash. But I didn't, I couldn't. Even the conversation which I could hear so clearly now seemed distant and inconsequential, for now I could see.

I felt as though for my whole life I'd suffered some debilitating visual impairment and was now suddenly cured. Everything around me, no matter how trivial, seemed new and intriguing to my eyes. Some part of my mind was screaming for me to snap out of this and realize what was going on, realize the implications of the fact that I'd just drank 250 ml of blood, but I simply could not. I was far too entranced by…_everything_. It sounds silly now but I found myself taking time to look at the ridges medicine bottle caps, the stitching in the bed sheets back in the infirmary, the texture of the black material of my leotard, my own hands, feet, and limbs.

All this at last brought me to the window, with only the thick cloth barrier of the curtain separating me from a glimpse of the world outside. Without a second thought I stepped forward and flung the curtains apart. The blast of sunlight that now cascaded in through the parted curtains blinded me with its newfound fury. It was as though someone had flashed a dangerously powerful spotlight into my eyes, only ten times as worse. I closed my eyes in an attempt to block out the terrible light, but to no avail. The sunlight bore straight through my eyelids, searing my delicate eyes with white-hot pain.

In one last desperate maneuver closed my eyes and brought my hands up to cover my face. This made it somewhat bearable for the moment so I could quickly reach out and pull the curtains shut again. For a moment I didn't dare open my eyes. I buried my face in the shadows of the infirmary, hiding from any and all light that would harm me. I said that "I don't do fear." Yet, despite that, I was very much frightened now. The sun's blinding brightness had been a shock of reality to me. The infirmary had seemed lit when I awoke, yet I now realized that the lights weren't even turned on.

As I withdrew my hands from my face I found my vision to be slightly blurred after the whole experience but they eventually cleared up again. This allowed me to see and feel the thick layer of blood that had stuck to the palms of my hands. I brought a finger to the area around my mouth and withdrew it to find it equally covered in blood. I frantically rushed to the bathroom adjacent to the infirmary. I had to see.

The bathroom was equipped in the event that someone would require a long stay here. It had a toilet, a sink, and a bathtub in case someone was so seriously wounded that they couldn't return to their own room. The mirror over the sink would serve my purposes well enough. I walked towards the looking glass slowly, afraid of what I would see yet still desperate to.

Some popular literature states that vampires have no reflections; at that moment I gazed upon my mirror image I so wished that it were true. What I beheld chilled me to the bone. For the most part I looked relatively the same. My hair was still purple, my skin was the same complexion it had been before, and my chacra was still in place on my forehead. But the eyes that looked back at me were not my own. Sharp light red ones had replaced my familiar violet hues. This certainly wasn't a sign of my fury being released, these were my own eyes turned suddenly red.

The lower portion of my face, particularly the area around my mouth, was covered in blood. The paleness of my skin made it stand out all the more by contrast. It was then that I saw the reason for the ease with which I bit through the IV bag. Two sharp fangs jutted out of my upper jaw as if they'd always been there. The fangs as well as the rest of my teeth had a slight red tint to them from the blood I'd consumed. Experimentally, I lightly pressed my finger against the sharp point of one of my fangs and instantly drew it back from the slight pinprick I felt. Even that small touch had cut my skin leaving a small bloody point on my fingertip.

As I beheld this telltale sign of what had happened to me the memories of all that had happened the night before came rushing back. I now knew full well what all this meant. Barnabas Collins, the monster that attacked me last night, had made me into a bloodthirsty beast like himself. A vampire.

When something this monumental and unwanted happens, people tend to display an almost irrational disbelief; at least that's how it went for me. As everything began to fit together: my heightened senses, everyone's belief that I had died, my aversion to sunlight, and my newfound thirst for blood, I began searching for any possible explanation other than the most obvious one. Maybe this all was just some joke Beast Boy was playing on me to get back for how I'd treated him last night, maybe my eyes were simply irritated by some complication from my injuries, maybe if I breathed hard enough I'd be able to feel my heartbeat at last, maybe if I breathed hard enough long enough then I would continue to involuntarily, maybe this was simply all a terrible dream.

As I sat upon the edge of my bed in the infirmary, I firmly pressed my had down upon my breast hoping that I would feel my heartbeat and find some proof that I was truly alive. As time passed and I still felt nothing I began to take deep panic breaths. I thought if I breathed hard enough then maybe I'd at last feel one beat of my heart. That was all I wanted, just one pulsation and I would have been relieved. All I felt, despite the irregular rise and fall of my chest as I forced myself to breathe, was the silent emptiness that now held sway over my body.

For some time I frantically paced the full length of the room, considering this terrible situation I'd been thrust into. I could not see myself living my life this way. There was simply no way. I had become the antithesis of everything that the Titans had come to represent. My very existence now depended upon my ability to attack and drink the blood of other people. How could I go on like that? More than anything, though, I realized that the others simply could never know about this. All I had to do was look at the manner in which vampires are depicted in the media. They, no doubt, would think of me in the same manner if they found out. I would cease to be Raven in their eyes and I would become nothing more than another threat to the safety of Jump City.

However, my attitude wasn't totally defeatist. I reasoned that if there was a way to become a vampire then surely there must be a way to change back. At best, I might not even need to involve the others in this if I could find a cure. The thought raised my spirits some. It never occurred to me that there might be no way out of this because I simply refused to think that way. As far as my life as a vampire would go, however, I was merely standing at the threshold.


	4. Chapter 3 Ramifications

Author's Note – Here's the third chapter, hope you like it. One slight change I've made is that the scene depicted in the prologue is now two weeks after Raven's change, not six months as originally planned. As far as pairings go I haven't really reached that point in the planning of the story. Hope that helps somewhat. Enjoy!

Disclaimer – I have never and will never own Teen Titans

Chapter 3 – Ramifications

After I'd regained my composure after my initial realization of my change, I began to do whatever I could to hide it. In my euphoric state after I emptied the IV bag I unconsciously spilled a good amount of blood on the floor of the supply closet and proceeded to track it from there out into the infirmary. Using what basically were a brown paper towel and a little water, I hurriedly cleaned up the bloody footprints I had left. I worked at the sink to wash the red tint of blood from my teeth in addition to the portion that formed a grotesque red ring around my mouth.

There was certain urgency to my work that, no doubt, arose from the fact that I wanted to get upstairs before Starfire rallied the others into a crusade in my name. The sorrow she'd apparently felt before had now dissolved into a palpable self-righteous indignation. In truth, it scared me a little to hear her talking like that. As I knew her, Starfire had always been amazingly kind and cheerful, annoyingly so at times. The manner in which she now spoke seemed just….un-Starfire.

As Starfire continued to rage above I now pondered how I would hide the most obvious signs of my vampirism: my fangs and my red eyes. Although I wore a hood over my face on a regular basis, I couldn't very well hide my eyes behind it and function properly. I decided that I would simply have to go as is as far as my eyes were concerned. I could find a reasonable explanation when the time came. My fangs, however, were a totally different story. There was no rational explanation I could give for their presence.

They appeared to have once been my cuspids only now some unknown force had sharpened as well as lengthened them while I was unconscious. The same had happened to the cuspids on my bottom row of teeth although it was less significant. The two pairs of fangs fit nicely together whenever I closed my mouth, the upper pair coming down over the lower. Despite that my teeth had been completely rearranged to accommodate this change, it didn't feel the slightest bit unnatural.

If I were to merely show my teeth it would take a close inspection to notice the fangs given how well they blended in with my other teeth, and I doubted that anyone would ever get that close to me, let alone to just examine my teeth. The problem occurred if I talked. The outlines of both the newly formed rows of teeth would be clearly visible even from a distance. The fact that I'd been living here for years now only made it all the easier to notice the difference. And here was my dilemma; I had to find some way to at least make the upper pair less prominent. But how?

For a moment the thought occurred to me that maybe I should just find a pair of pliers, pull them out and be done with it. However, that would be more trouble than it was worth. But what else could I do? "_If thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out_." I could simply tell the others that I'd lost some teeth in the fight I'd had. What reason would they have to doubt that?

Searching through the surgical equipment of the infirmary I managed to find an instrument that would serve my needs. It was metal, shiny, and looked rather unpleasant especially given what I would use it for. After hunting down some gauze to take care of the bleeding, I was ready but not necessarily willing. I was still trying to find another solution as I made my way back to the mirror in the bathroom, stalling my actions as much as I could. Barnabas had to have some means of hiding who he was. He couldn't have functioned in the world with such an obvious indication of his true nature. I considered everything from painting the fangs black to casting a spell on the others so they wouldn't see. None of these were feasible given my current situation and what items I had access to. I had to do something and at least this solution allowed me a reasonable explanation.

I held my self over the sink with the water running as I placed my mound of gauze down and gently gripped my right fang with the instrument. If my lungs drew breath I would have been hyperventilating at this point. I watched myself in the mirror with wild fear-filled eyes. As I tightened the pliers around the large tooth and began to pull, every muscle in my body tensed up. I couldn't feel any pain yet, but there was a strong unpleasant pulling sensation. As I applied more force to the action the feeling grew stronger. I began to whimper in fear despite myself. At the last minute I released the fang from the pliers grip and slammed the instrument down beside the sink with a loud clattering sound.

I was gripped by the fear of pain, the fear of self-mutilation. But could I really consider these hideous teeth to be parts of myself? No, they were not. These fangs protruding from my upper jaw represented nothing more than a perversion of my true self. If I was to advance from this moment and find a cure for this vampirism they had to go. Part of the problem seemed to be that I hadn't taken the time to meditate since the night before. My emotions kept getting in the way of my actions; I needed control if I was to move forward. I had to hold onto the hope that Starfire would be as verbose as she could possibly be from now till I was finished.

With a sense of urgency, I sat cross-legged on the tile floor of the bathroom. Gaining some sense of composure I began to chant my mantra, slowly and deliberately as I relaxed every muscle in my being. "Azarath, metrion, zinthos," I chanted feeling myself levitate off of the floor letting go of all earthly concerns. "Azarath, metrion, zinthos," I chanted feeling the calming effects of my meditation washing over me. "Azarath, metrion, zinthos," I chanted as I felt a sudden strange friction or vibration within the confines of my mouth, as though my teeth were grinding together.

Bringing myself back to earth I again stood before the mirror, still not ready to perform my tooth extraction but now more curious about what I'd just felt. As though my wish to find another solution had been answered, I now found both fangs in my upper jaw had been drawn back into my jaw and appeared no different from my other teeth, despite the fact that they were still as sharp as they were before. Retractable fangs. At this point, part of me actually wished that Barnabas, my malefactor, hadn't left me laying there for my friends to find. I would have liked it if I didn't have to discover all of this by myself, it would have been significantly less of a physical and mental strain. Now, though, I would endure without his help.

My shoes made dull thuds that reverberated through the stairwell as I climbed step by step. I decided to take the short walk up the stairs from the infirmary rather than take the elevator. It would be less noticeable than simply stepping out of the elevator and it would also give me a moment to organize myself before I "ran the gauntlet," so to speak. I felt open and vulnerable wearing only my black leotard and part of me wished that I'd had gumption to bring my cloak along despite the bloodstains. It was too late now, though.

The main stairwell as well as the elevator ran the full height of the tower starting at the lobby on the ground floor and going all the way up to the heliport on the roof. The tower was intentionally designed, as a security measure, so that the most important areas were on the upper floors while the areas of least importance were on the lower levels. For instance, the gymnasium was located in the shaft of the T while the evidence room was located in the east wing of the upper floors. The living quarters, infirmary, and common room were located in the upper wings as well.

I now stood before the door leading to the common room; beyond I could clearly hear Starfire still in the middle of her self-righteous tirade while Robin tried vainly to calm her down. I took a calming breath and opened the sliding doors. I was thankful to find the nighttime scenery of Jump City greeting me from beyond the large windows rather than blinding sunlight. The common room was the single largest room in the building, almost taking up two full stories with its elevated ceiling. To the immediate right of the entrance was a small kitchen area with the essentials: a stove, refrigerator, cabinets of china and silverware. It wasn't anything elaborate but it was serviceable.

To the left was a small sitting area used primarily for meals. Again, it wasn't anything extraordinary. It was only a simple arrangement of seats around a single yellow table capable of seating all five of us. It had once sat six, but those days are long gone. A large red carpet shaped like a T ran the full length of the room, branching off when it reached the entertainment area. A large curved couch faced an even larger plasma screen television mounted directly in front of the two canopy windows. Ladies and gentleman, behold your tax dollars at work.

Between the television and the couch was a small, circular coffee table upon which Starfire now stood regaling her captive audience with a speech about how wonderful I was and why I should be avenged with haste. Robin, Beast Boy, and Cyborg would have probably gone their separate ways by now if they hadn't feared the unusual amount of anger the alien girl was displaying. The only other time I'd even seen her acting in a similar manner had been during the celebratory banquet that was held on her home world upon our arrival, providing you could call that predatory display a "banquet."

There she stood, her eyes ablaze with an inner green light, her fists clenched. As she spoke she made wild gestures with her hands that gave one the impression that she was striking at unseen foes that had dared to threaten me. It was very heartening to see that my death would elicit this type of response and it brought the faint glimmer of a smile to my lips. Starfire continued her speech as if it was long rehearsed, her gestures didn't even seem to be directed at the three mourners that made up her audience but were directed all over the room. It was the randomness of these gestures that finally brought her gaze upon me. Her speech came to a sudden halt as all her movements ceased and her eyes returned to normal. For the longest time she simply stared at me with an indecipherable look upon her face. I suppose the best way to describe it would be as a look of placid shock. The expression she bore was neither overly shocked nor overly relaxed, merely somewhere in between.

"Ra…Raven?" Starfire spoke at last with a slight stutter.

"Showtime," I thought to myself. "Guys, its not that I don't appreciate all this, because I really do. Its nice to know that I'd be missed if, heaven forbid, something ever happened to me. But, I'd say it's a bit premature at this point," once I'd spoken the other three turned towards me with similar looks upon their faces, placid shock. They'd apparently been so certain of my death any joy was quickly overridden by the shock of seeing me up and about. "Well, if you'd like I could head back down to the infi…," I didn't even have time to finish my witticism as Starfire rocketed across the room from her perch upon the coffee table, arms spread, and knocked me to the floor with the force of her embrace.

"Oh, Raven!" she squealed with joy as she dragged me to my feet, "you are alive and well. We thought we'd lost you forever most precious friend. It is a miracle, a wonderful, wonderful miracle. Friend Raven, you've come back to us." It was here that I came to realize just how great the change I'd undergone was. Starfire's hugs were generally…suffocating, so to speak, and were known to occasionally leave bruises. Yet, here I felt none of that. No shortness of breath (which I expected) and no pain due to the force of the embrace.

But also, I now noticed how cool my body had become, to a point that Starfire seemed to shiver slightly as she tightened her embrace. She seemed so warm, and I felt so cold by comparison. I hadn't even noticed it before. I could even feel the warmth of her tears soaking in to the fabric of my uniform. As undeniably pleasant as Starfire's warm hug felt, I wanted this to be over and done with soon so I could decide my next move. "Thanks Starfire," I mimicked the sound of a person being choked, "but I'd like to breathe if you don't mind," I lied.

"Oh," she withdrew her arms from around me, "I sincerely apologize for harming you friend, it was not my intention. But I am simply overjoyed beyond reason to see you. We all were overcome by a most terrible grief for you, Raven." By now the initial shock the others had experienced had worn off and they'd come to join Starfire in celebrating my resurrection.

"Ha haaa," Cyborg chuckled pleasantly, "Christ Raven, you really gave us a scare. I mean, we all really thought you were dead. Hell, I called the coroner and everything. How'd you make it? Are you feeling all right? Who attacked you anyway?"

"I was merely in a meditative trance which allowed me to heal from my wounds. Apparently I was so seriously injured that it put me into a death-like state. Sorry if I worried you but I'm perfectly fine. As for my attacker, I'm afraid I didn't' get a good enough look at him to tell you much," I would like to thank the Academy.

"Well, I'm glad to hear you're alright in any event" Robin finally spoke up. Robin was the type of person who made a point of distancing himself emotionally from a situation. This was a condition he maintained most of the time, except when it came to Slade of course. Slade seemed to strike Robin in just the right manner, igniting his passions to a point where they transcended all notions of good and evil. "Though, are you sure you really are ok Raven. You don't look very well, you seem…paler than usual," he continued.

"Relax, it's just a side effect of the meditation I used to save myself. I swore to only use it for the most serious situation because the trance it would put me in had some abnormal side effects. Like my new eye color?" I said gesturing towards my newly red eyes, "I'm hoping its temporary."

"It's an interesting look, I'll admit. But, Raven, are you sure that there isn't anything we can do to help. We are your friends, after all."

"Robin, there's nothing I need help with. All I need is a good night's rest. That's all."

"Same old Raven, you won't accept any help at all, will you."

"Not unless its absolutely necessary," I droned. "Now, what about you Beast Boy? Do you have anything to say to me?" the green skinned changeling had been just as shocked as the others to see me but hadn't taken the initiative to speak yet. He hung back from me, as though he were trying to decide what to say, and having great difficulty in finding the proper words.

"Its alright Beast Boy," I assured him, "I don't blame you for anything. It was my decision to leave the tower last night. Any part you played in that decision was minimal at best. You have nothing to feel guilty over so you can relax. So…how was the movie last night? Any good?"

Beast Boy seemed to brighten up almost upon the moment the words left my lips. "Well, aside from the cheesy dialogue, simple plot, and the occasionally bits of nudity, yeah it was pretty good. I think you'd like it," he repeated my words from the night before as he walked towards me. "It isn't due back till tomorrow if you want to…"

"Thanks for the offer but I'd better not."

"Aw, come on Raven. All you have to do is admit when your scared and we'll be fine."

"Cute Beast Boy but that's not the problem. I'm just a little exhausted after this whole experience and want to get to bed early so if you don't mind…"

"No, not at all, maybe some other time then."

I didn't exactly know why I felt the need to act so nicely towards Beast Boy. In truth I'd still rather have gone for another late night walk instead of watching that movie of his. Even though on some level I felt he was right in feeling some responsibility for what happened, I suppose I just didn't want him to have to bear that kind of burden. I can be understanding when I want to.

After I took the time to bid the others goodnight I turned to leave for my room. Before I could reach the door out into the hall, Starfire flew up behind me and stopped me.

"Raven, are you really leaving us so soon. I was going to prepare a traditional Tamaranian feast to celebrate your miraculous recovery. Will you not stay and enjoy it with us? This is an event that needs to be commemorated in some form," she implored me.

As much as I respected Starfire's distinctive personality and culture, her taste in food was suspect at best. "Thanks Star, but I'm really not that hungry right now. Maybe some other time."

"Oh, but Raven…" she now gave me the most sympathetic stare that she could possibly have summoned. She looked as though she would break down and cry if I didn't at least make some concession.

I sighed, "All right, save some of it for me in the fridge and I'll have it for breakfast, how's that," I conceded.

"Oh thank you Raven, I promise you that it will be the most wonderful breaking of the fast that you have ever ingested. And do not worry, the boys and I will be sure to leave you a sampling of every dish I prepare."

I forced myself not to grimace as the thought, "Thanks Star, I'll look forward to it. Good night."

"Yes friend Raven, good night. May you have many pleasant dreams, friend. I will see you for the breaking of the fast." And with that I left headed for my own room. I didn't need to look back to picture the looks of feigned joy upon the boy's faces. Before they had been Starfire's captive audience during her self-righteous rant, now they were faced with a situation that was arguably far more unpleasant. I was never gladder to be an invalid in their eyes, however misplaced that belief may have been.

When I finally returned to my own room, locking the door behind me, I half expected to find it changed on some way. Although only a day had passed since I'd last been here, the wide range of events that had occurred recently made it seem as though more time had passed. My book still rested upon my bed where I had abandoned it the night before, an empty teacup sat idly upon my nightstand. It seemed as though I had never left the room at all.

I didn't even bother to turn the lights on, as I no longer needed them. As I fell backwards onto my bed, I couldn't help but wonder how I would function during the day from now on. Even if I could find a cure I would still have to live like this for some time, at least. Worse, I knew nothing of what I was to experience in the coming days. I already found that the truth about vampires was slightly different from what I had read in books and seen on television. The sunlight should have engulfed me in flame; instead it only blinded me, however powerful the effect was. I wondered what else had the world been wrong about?

One thing I was certain of was my newfound blood thirst. The irrefutable fact was that I would need to consume some amount of fresh blood on a daily basis to stay my hunger. No other food was capable of sustaining me. I readily recalled the stock of IV bags I had sampled once I had awoken in the infirmary, but that blood was reserved for another purpose entirely. I could easily imagine the darkly humorous scene. Someone, perhaps Robin, would be terribly injured in a fight to the point that he would require a transfusion to survive. "Sorry Robin," I'd say, "there isn't enough blood to save you. I'm afraid I drank it all. It was good though, if that's any consolation." An extreme example, I know, but not entirely outside of the realm of possibility. That blood was meant for medical emergencies, but what other choice did I have as this point?

So I waited. I waited for the others to finish eating. I waited for them to finish watching television and playing their video games. I waited until I had heard the tell tale sounds of each and everyone of my friends venturing off to the land of nod, and then waited a few minutes more to be sure that my actions tonight would remain secret.

Once I was absolutely certain that all was still, I left my room, gliding along the hallways towards the common room first then the infirmary. I emptied out an entire 8 oz. bottle of Coke I'd found left in the refrigerator and scoured the cupboards for the smallest glass I could find. My plan was simple. I would take what blood I could from the infirmary, but only as much as I felt I could, not as much as I was capable of taking. The loathing I felt for what I had become meant that I would not satisfy this need totally.

In truth, I never once considered that this would last very long. I felt undeniably confident that I would find a cure in a matter of days, perhaps even the very next day if I looked in the right place. And so, confident that this was only a temporary situation, I closed the curtains, undressed, and crawled into bed.

As I expected, sleep never came for me that night. For all intents and purposes I had become something nocturnal. However, it wasn't simply that sleep wouldn't come for me; I found that I was now physically incapable of sleeping at night. I merely lay there, waiting for the morning to come and with it the prospect of a cure for this disease I had been afflicted with. I have come to realize, though, that things rarely turn out the way you expect them to.


	5. Chapter 4 A Good Doctor

Author's Note – I'm terribly sorry that this chapter took so long to complete. I'm afraid I had to contend with the infinite joys of term papers and final exams. Now that that's all over and done with I'll try to keep chapter updates as regular as possible.

Disclaimer – I have never and will never own Teen Titans

Chapter 4 – A Good Doctor

The single window in my room didn't face the direction the sun would be rising in, yet that didn't stop me from closing the curtains as a precaution. It was, after all, right next to my bed. The alarm clock on my bedside table continued to tick off its even measure of time and all I could do was wait. With a pile of pillows supporting my head, I lay on my back and simply stared blankly up at the black fabric interior of my canopy. As the hours passed I found myself counting individual stitches in the material. On occasion my eyes would pass over the slit I'd recently cut in the cloth to hide my blood supply.

It had been about mid-afternoon, perhaps later, when I'd first drank; it was now early morning. Although the feeling wasn't as intense as it had been when I'd first awoken, I could sense minute pangs of hunger and a slight dryness to my throat. I knew the blood I had hidden away just over my head would relieve all these discomforts, however minor they were now. I longed for the wonderful feeling of that liquid life flowing into my cold dead body. But that morning I denied myself that pleasure; my rational side winning out over pure desire, as it always had. I had no idea of how much blood I'd need to drink regularly in order to live comfortably, and I had no intention to find out. I wasn't about to starve myself, but I wasn't going to allow myself to enjoy this either.

It was around 7:00 that the Tower again came to life. In some rooms I could hear the telltale sounds of alarm clocks sounding the hour while others who had no need for such things could be heard moving about groggily. This eventually gave way to the sound of showers running, Beast Boy cooking a breakfast composed entirely of tofu and other such substitutes. As not just Titans Tower, but the entire world around me awoke to greet the day I was now finally able to sleep. It wasn't a terrible need for rest I felt; yet after an entire night of waiting and hoping for some escape from this situation I gladly accepted it.

After rearranging the pillows to a more comfortable arrangement and pulling the bed sheets up and over my form, I settled in for whatever rest I would be allowed. If there wasn't any trouble for the Titans to take care of, I could stay in my room for an entire week without anyone really noticing. And so, with that in mind, I closed my eyes and fell into a relaxed sleep as the sun rose in the morning sky.

Just as I was about to lose all conception of the world around me and enter that inviting state of unconsciousness, a gentle knocking came from my door. Slightly upset at being denied my rest but nonetheless awake, I stood and crossed the distance between the door and myself. Once I'd reached the doorway I stopped short of actually opening it.

"Who is it?" I spoke softly through the steel of the automatic sliding door.

"Raven, it is I Starfire. I have, in accordance with earthly custom in dealing with the invalid, brought you your breaking of the fast in a manner so that you may eat it in bed. May I come in?"

I'd very nearly forgotten what I'd told Starfire the night before, about how I'd have what remained of her celebratory feast for breakfast. I sighed, slightly annoyed at being denied sleep but well aware that I needed to keep up appearances. I reached over to the keypad alongside the doorframe and released the lock, which allowed the bubbly Tamaranian to drift in, holding a large tray full of her native food arranged on a four-legged tray held above her head with only her right hand in an impressive feat of dexterity.

"Come, into bed with you," she spoke with an almost motherly demeanor. "Once you are in a comfortable position I shall see to your meal."

"Starfire, I don't need to have my breakfast in bed. I'll have it in the common room with the others."

"But Raven, you said yourself that you needed rest and rest you shall have. And despite what you may say you don't look very well. You seem incredibly pale."

"Star, I've always been pale. I was pale the day we first met. How is my complexion any different today than it was a week ago?"

"I am unsure. It merely seems that way to me. Perhaps I am overreacting, I probably am, but would you please humor me Raven, just this once. Despite your recovery I am still greatly concerned. We very nearly lost you and…"

"Alright Starfire," I conceded, "I'll have your breakfast in bed if it will alleviate your concerns. Just please don't worry about me so much."

After I'd given in to Starfire's well intentioned pressuring, it was only a matter of moments before I was again resting beneath my bed sheets, my pillows piled up in a manner allowing me to sit comfortably. It was then that Star placed the tray of food over my lap and, as she took a seat to my left on the bed's edge, I beheld what she had brought me. The tray contained several plates each filled with some unrecognizable unpleasant looking substance. I'd come to realize that Tamaranian food was largely made from molds and fungal growth. The sort of things that people here would dispose of as waste Starfire's people would view as common everyday food.

"Raven, you are most fortunate. I have gone through my own private stock of food from my home in order to make this. The boys were most generous last night as they left you most of the feast to enjoy at your leisure."

"How very thoughtful of them," I droned.

"I have brought you a sampling of each dish I'd prepared. There are pormonian snapdragglers, a plate of roasted sparn meat, my homemade glorg, and a cup of your favorite herbal tea. I was uncertain whether you liked cow's milk with your tea or not so I brought you a pitcher just in case."

"I'll drink it as is but thanks for the gesture," I said reaching directly for the small cup of warm tea. As the warm liquid slipped down my throat it had a soothing affect that easily made all my problems seem to disappear. While the effects weren't as potent as simply going to sleep for the next few hours, it was nonetheless a welcome relief. I was glad to find that however much I'd changed over the past twenty-four hours, this remained the same relaxing experience. I barely noticed the sensation of Starfire's weight leaving the mattress beside me. I only became completely aware of it when I heard the faint rustling of Starfire slowly parting the curtains keeping my room devoid of daylight.

"No!" I cried out at the last minute, but to no avail. The wave of daylight came rushing through the glass of the window, striking me with considerable force. I did everything I could to shield my sensitive eyes from the painful rays of light. Not worrying or caring about the consequences I threw my teacup down and wrested myself out from beneath the bed-sheets as well as the tray of food Starfire had carefully prepared for me. Everything came crashing forward with a loud clattering sound. I threw myself off of the bed and to the floor, hiding behind my own bed.

"Starfire…please close the curtains," I whimpered.

"Raven what…"

"Starfire! Please close the curtains! Please! Please!" I now cried out for her.

I sat crouched on the floor beside my bed until I heard the telltale sound of the curtains being shut. I still remained on the floor holding myself, whimpering softly. I was filled with a feeling of self-loathing so deep I could barely contain it. Was this what I had been reduced to? Cowering from the sunlight like a frightened child? I hated myself for showing this blatant weakness with such undeniable violence. I hated how Starfire had had a front row seat for the whole spectacle. But most of all I found that I hated what I had become with increased intensity and how it had forced me into this degrading position.

As time passed I could hear Starfire's slow deliberate footsteps making their way around the perimeter of the bed, coming up behind me. A warm comforting hand took hold of my right shoulder and I closed my eyes, savoring the warmth of that touch. The coolness of my own body only made the warmth all the more palpable.

"Raven," I turned slowly to acknowledge her voice. My crimson eyes met her green hues and for a time we remained like that frozen in each other's gaze. We both remained silent even as Starfire's breakfast stained my bed sheets. We remained motionless even as a thin trail of some unknown liquid lead away from that terrible mess and dripped incessantly on the carpeted floor beside me.

I could now easily understand exactly what Barnabas had meant when he'd told me that a person's eyes could be quite eloquent. As I gazed into Starfire's eyes they spoke volumes to me about the boundless concern she felt for me. This situation was terrible. My reaction to the daylight had been far too violent to simply write off. But none of them could know. Starfire couldn't know. Could she? She was certainly quite ignorant of some of the conventions of Earth's society and culture. But would that be enough for her to understand my situation?

Of all my teammates, Starfire was the one I had the closest relationship with. She had the distinctive privilege of being the only person who I granted regular access to my room, an area that was hallowed ground as far as the boys were concerned. I'd have to say that the primary reason for this closeness between us had to do with the incident concerning the so-called "Puppet King" that happened about two years before. He had attempted to trap our souls in small wooden puppets leaving our bodies as his own personal slaves. Starfire and I had been the only ones to escape, but barely. During the process our bodies were switched. Considering neither of us knew very much about the other it made it greatly difficult for us to work effectively. In effect, we were forced to learn about and understand each other out of pure necessity. Although I glossed over certain details of my past and she omitted the minor detail that she was a princess on her home world, we came to an understanding of each other that I had come to value greatly.

That, then, was the reason I refrained from telling Starfire at that moment. I simply valued her too much as a friend. Besides I'd felt that the very concept of a creature that needed to feed off the blood of other living beings would be revolting no matter what culture one hailed from. In addition at this point I was still holding onto the hope that I may not have to tell anyone after all. And now that I was up and about all I wanted to do was set out and find a solution to my problem. This meant, of course, that I'd need to be left alone.

"Raven, your eyes are very sensitive from the effects of your extensive meditation, yes?"

"Yeah…they still are," I whispered.

"I am sorry for not having asked for your permission to open the curtains first. I shall clean this mess for you," she spoke forlornly.

"Star," I stood shrugging off her hand, "its fine. I'll take care of it myself. You didn't know about my eyes and that's understandable. I never told you. So, please allow me. Go and enjoy your breakfast."

I'd apparently struck a nerve with that last remark. Star seemed stunned that I'd refuse her help especially after an incident that she clearly felt was her fault. "But Raven you," before she could finish her retort the Tower's loud blaring alarm went off, its shrieks echoing throughout the rooms and hallways. When some terrible crime would occur in the city this would be the procedure. I groaned inwardly at the obnoxious sound.

The sound of hurried footsteps came down the hall and stopped to only be replaced by the sound of this someone knocking sharply on my door. "Starfire! Raven!" Robin called through the door, "there's trouble in town. It's the H.I.V.E. Jinx, Gizmo and Mammoth have just broken into an electronics store. We're heading out are you coming?"

"Yes Robin. Just one moment please," Starfire called back. "Raven, are you coming."

"Star, I'd rather not. I think I pushed myself a little too much when I left the infirmary last night. I really don't think I'm up for a fight, especially with the likes of Mammoth. Hell, even Control Freak might be able to take me down the state I'm in," I spoke jokingly. As I spoke I found that I'd gotten fairly good at having to lie when necessary. In truth I felt just as well as I had before this whole debacle had begun, perhaps even better than before. However, my situation meant I'd be just as useful to them in a fight as any bystander haplessly caught in the fray.

"Very well, I shall tell the others of your decision." She briefly directed her attention towards the mess that I'd made of my bedspread. "Also, please allow me to

clean this up upon my return. If you wish you may use my bed for the time being."

"Star, it's not like I'm disabled. All I'm saying is that I won't be of much use to you and the others in a fight right now. I'm beyond the point where I'd need constant medical attent…," I stopped speaking mid-sentence as a sudden memory came surging back to me. The word "medical" seemed to be significant somehow. What was it? Medical…medical…Jump City Medical School. I remembered that several weeks ago the Titans had been contacted to act as security for an unusual lecture to be held that day. Given all that had been on my mind at that point it was no wonder that I'd forgotten about it. But, why were we still here. We should have headed there hours before now.

"Star, what about the Medical School. Weren't we supposed to be there today?"

"Oh, that's right. I'd forgotten to tell you. Yesterday while you were meditating the police had called stating that they would be able to handle Professor Chang's lecture themselves. Robin did not complain…much."

"Tell Robin that I'll go there myself," I continued. "It'll be a good chance for me to get out and get some fresh air."

Starfire seemed immediately uncertain about this proposal of mine. I did appreciate her concern for me as well as the great value she placed upon our friendship, but she would have to realize that I'd be doing this whether she liked it or not.

"Very well," she conceded at last. "I shall tell the others of your plan.

"Hey! Starfire! Raven! We're heading out now. Hurry up unless you wanna fly all the way!" Cyborg called from down the hall.

"Coming!" Star called back. "Raven I shall see you when we return. Please do take care though."

I suppressed a groan of exasperation. "Yes Starfire, I'll be careful."

With that she beamed happily at me one final time before turning and rushing out the door. And with the soft sound of the door sliding shut behind her I was, thankfully, alone.

Jump City Medical School was a division of Jump City State University, being located on part of the larger campus. Getting there from Titans Tower had been a task in and of itself. The sunlight prevented me from flying effectively so I was forced to resort to public transportation, one hour both ways by bus. Wanting to remain as inconspicuous as possible I left the tower wearing a black hooded sweatshirt and jeans rather than my normal uniform of a black leotard and my blue Azarathean cloak. I refrained from removing the bandage from around my neck if only to keep up pretenses.

The recent surge in interest in cybernetic prosthetics had lead to the Medical School's expanding of studies in that particular field, however they lacked an actual expert on campus. Cybernetics was still very new and only then was it starting to be accepted as a legitimate solution for the handicapped. To an extent you could call Cyborg the "poster child" for cybernetics. With his fully cybernetic body there was no better advertising for it than news stories about the Titans featuring his crime fighting exploits, showing the good that could be done with this technology.

Lacking someone with the proper expertise in the field, the staff at the Medical School was forced to resort to unusual measures. They made the arrangements and managed to secure the services, for a single lecture, of the then incarcerated Professor Chang (under police surveillance of course). I suppose most people involved at that time remembered him as having been one of the most outspoken supporters of cybernetics back when it was still viewed as being largely taboo (a lot of people at the time had misgivings about blending humans and machines in such a manner, or so I've read.) I, of course, will always remember him for his attempt to remodel Jump City's skyline using a ridiculously large laser cannon he'd converted from a derelict observatory which was powered by, of all things, volatile zinothium ore.

However, I hadn't come here to act as security, the police were more than capable of handling that function. At the medical school I'd have access to someone with at least some level of expertise as a physician who could evaluate my condition. If that person happened to be Professor Chang, better still. In this world there is nothing more reliable than a man whose loyalty can be bought for hard cash. Robin knew that when he went to Chang for the zinothium to power his Red X suit. Not a soul knew of his suits controversial power source until Robin himself revealed it.

It was spring, either late April or early May, the time of year when everything seems to come alive with vivid color and vitality. In spring the grass always seems somehow greener than it had been earlier, the sky a more lovely shade of blue. The natural world again comes alive after the long winter of dormancy. The flowers bloom in all shapes and colors, the birds sing their sweet songs from their perches in the trees. The changing of the seasons reflects the cycle of death and birth from spring to summer to autumn to winter and back again.

However, I could appreciate none of this as I made my way across campus. I stuck close to the shadows of the tall brick faculty buildings whenever possible and held my hood down over my head as heavily as I could. I kept my head hung low so I didn't have to look up. Whenever I would enter a patch of sunlight along the brick pathways that crisscrossed the campus the amount of sunlight reflected from the surface would sting my eyes ever so sharply. Yet I endured it. It was a minor annoyance especially when compared to the full force of the sun when I beheld it.

The lecture hall that Professor Chang was to make his performance at was actually, as I found it, more of a large auditorium. On the far end of the university's campus it was a large circular building designed for mass gatherings. It's interior was divided into two main areas: an outer ring which held a lobby of sorts and administrative areas and a large inner circle housing the auditorium itself. After I'd passed through the police security checkpoints at the entrance (apparently with my identity going unnoticed) I was at last within the darkened auditorium itself. As I took a seat in one of the rows farthest away from the stage I found I could finally relax, at last free from the sun's painful rays. It seemed I was now in my element.

It may have been due to the fact that most of the audience was crowded into the grouping of seats directly in front of the professor, but tf I needed any proof that the faculty had had good reason to seek out Professor Chang's services then I found here. The auditorium was literally packed with students some taking detailed notes while others merely sat and watched the unusual spectacle of having a convicted felon give a lecture. Ten rows of seats surrounded and lead back from the circular platform of the stage, the place where the man himself stood and spoke into a microphone at a makeshift podium while a powerpoint presentation was projected onto a screen behind him.

Chang was a thin, snaggletoothed old man in a large loose fitting white suit tangled in a mesh of wires and tubes all apparently plugged into a large metal backpack. The suit stretched up the back of his neck forming a sort of cap which held one device up to his eyes as well as two smaller ones attached to both of his ears. A single control box on his chest gave order to the complex system that apparently was the only thing keeping him out of a hospital bed for the rest of his life.

The projection screen displayed image after image of subjects ranging from the assemblage of cybernetic limbs right up to the surgery involved in grafting cybernetics onto a human body, and Professor Chang seemed to have something to say about every one. He spoke articulately and apparently completely from memory never once glancing down at notes or looking to the bullets listed on the slides.

"The successful application of cybernetics in the medical field was and has always been dependent upon one singular advancement," he spoke in perfect English with only the faintest hint of an accent. "That achievement was the successful conversion of signals transmitted from the brain into impulses that could be read and understood by machines. In effect the revolutionary development of machines that one could control through thought alone.

"This allowed for the creation of prosthetic limbs that were the closest thing to actual replacement limbs than any devices that had come before. This is quite possibly the single greatest advancement for the handicapped in history. Say, for example, that some unfortunate individual is in a car accident and his legs are mangled in the process. Before he'd have been stricken to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. Today we can give him a new pair of legs and he can walk around just as he had before.

"Arguably the most famous case involving the use of cybernetics would be the one of Victor Stone, better known today as Cyborg," as he spoke a before-and-after slide came up with one image of the young promising athlete Victor Stone juxtaposed with an image of Cyborg of the Teen Titans. "A tragic accident at the S.T.A.R. Labs in Metropolis necessitated the operation. It was the first and most extreme application of cybernetics, however it proved, nonetheless, to be a resounding success. If it hadn't been for cybernetics Victor Stone would not be with us today. Thankfully as of this moment he is the only person in the entire world who has a mostly prosthetic body."

"Um, excuse me Professor," one of the students in the audience spoke up.

"Yes, what is it."

"Isn't that an inaccurate statement? Didn't Brother Blood undergo a similar procedure?"

Ah yes, Brother Blood. That was a name I would not soon forget. Unlike Slade who was clearly driven by his own overblown ambition, Blood was insanely obsessed with having a loyal student body for his H.I.V.E. Academy (of which he was the headmaster), no matter what the costs. His impressive mind control abilities allowed him to realize this dream for a time. Cyborg was working undercover within the H.I.V.E at the time. His defiance of Blood's will left an indelible mark on him. Perhaps it made him uncertain of his ability to control his students. The only method Brother Blood could see to rectify this chink in his armor was self-mutilation. He willfully had himself turned into a cyborg and would have done the same to his students if it hadn't been for his final defeat at Steel City.

In any event, Professor Chang hung his head low for the first time during his speech. Although he denied it, he clearly had wanted to avoid this subject. "Yes, Brother Blood did undergo a similar procedure. I am keeping Brother Blood's case separate from Victor Stone's for this discussion simply because the reasons for their respective operations are as different as night and day."

"Didn't you yourself conduct Brother Blood's surgery, Professor Chang?"

"Yes….I did. But I was under the influence of that madman's mind control abilities. I had no control over my actions whatsoever. What happened to Brother Blood was something he'd done to himself, I was merely a means to that end, nothing more. That man is exactly the kind of publicity that cybernetics does not need."

"Excuse me, Professor Chang," this time a feminine voice spoke up from the audience.

"Yes, miss," Chang responded wearily.

"What do you say to critics who view the case of Brother Blood and others as a sign of the inherent dangers of the use of cybernetics, that this technology could be used to make criminals more dangerous."

Professor Chang apparently had been waiting for this question for his confidence, which had been shattered by the talk of Brother Blood, came rushing back. "Well, when I think about it in those terms I can't help but compare it to plastic surgery. Now, I know that the two are nowhere near being on the same level as far as their applications are concerned, but there is a similarity.

"Plastic surgery can be used to great effect in helping people who have serious disfigurement and correcting the problem. It can make a person's standard of living infinitely better, similar to cybernetics in some respects. However there will always be people who will misuse this gift to their own ends. People with mental disorders or simply people who don't need this type of surgery at all can and will seek it out. But, both are cases in which the benefits greatly outweigh the risks."

"Well that is all well and good but wouldn't you agree that the concern is valid that cybernetics could be very dangerous in the wrong hands?"

"Yes I would. It is for this very reason that a safety feature has been created for use in cases in which a person has a complete prosthetic body. It is a sort of 'Achilles heel' if you will. It is called the cybernetic nexus, a sort of bridge from which all nerve messages from the brain are transmitted to all parts of the body. If it can be deactivated by a law enforcement official then the person will be completely immobilized."

"Question!" a male voice spoke up, "does Cyborg have one of these nexuses?"

Professor Chang smiled somewhat at the question (something that did bother me), "no, Victor Stone is a first generation cyborg, the nexus was instated only after the second generation was introduced."

With the brief question and answer interruption over, Chang continued with his presentation culminating in a complete video of a person being grafted with cybernetic limbs. The film was largely concerned with the work being done on the person's leg, showing how all the nerves had to be connected to the machinery. As some people actually felt a need to leave the room in disgust from the image of a person's central nervous system being tied directly into a mechanical arm with copious amounts of blood and gore visible, I felt nothing. I never viewed myself as being squeamish by any stretch of the imagination, but I expected that I would feel some revulsion at the image. By all rights I should have felt something, however minor a feeling it would have been.

I wondered how I would feel if I were actually present at such an operation. Would the smell of blood make my mouth water? Would my hunger completely override any and all inhibitions I may have? My God, what would I do? I did not dwell on such thoughts for long as I again brought the hood of my sweatshirt down over my face and turned away from the grisly image being projected before me.


	6. Chapter 5 Dr Lang

Disclaimer – I have never and will never own Teen Titans

Chapter 5 – Dr. Richard Lang

I waited for what seemed like an eternity, my eyes shielded from the bloody display by the black hood of my sweatshirt. The video presentation ran on for what must have been at least a half an hour. I feared having to look at that image for very long. I confess, what little I'd dared to see made my mouth water. Whatever hunger I had developed for blood had clearly not been satisfied by the amount I had ingested up till this point. I could feel it in the slight, yet noticeable dryness that plagued my throat. I could feel it in the strained tightening of my stomach. Just the mere thought of that image of some unfortunate person's bloody stump of a leg being wired into a cybernetic limb made all of this feel twice as worse than it actually was.

Even as I buried my vision in the black impermeable fabric of my hood I could still see that image, and it excited me. Actual, warm, fresh blood flowing from a still-living human, the way I was meant to drink it. It didn't matter that it was only a small amount due to surgical procedures nor did it matter that it was only a video, it was still there and it tempted me. What would have repulsed me in life now only seemed to tempt me in death, and that in and of itself gave me reason to be fearful.

I was becoming a predator of the very people I was meant to protect, and as I gazed about me at the young, mostly bright-eyed college students who surrounded me I knew it to be true. I wanted desperately for this to end, to go and speak to Professor Chang, get whatever I could and be on my way. I attempted to quell these equally pleasant and disturbing thoughts as best I could.

I decided to concentrate my thoughts on another topic, I thought for a moment about the wondrous lives of those who now sat in their respective seats on either side of me. Perhaps from their perspective the life I lead was far more interesting, perhaps it seemed more fulfilling, more exciting than their own humble existences. But for me the thought of living out a normal (at least by Earth's standards) life was a wondrous thing. The only thing in my life that I willfully chose was to put my abilities to good use for as long as I was allowed to, everything else in my life, past, present, and future, was chosen _for_ me by tyrannous Fate.

All the people in that auditorium had been blessed with the supreme gift of normalcy. When I'd first come to Earth from my home on the spiritual haven of Azarath one of the things that sustained me the most was the love of learning. That was the principle reason why I was never nearly as lost in this world as Starfire was, I made a point of learning and understanding as much about it as I possibly could. Even before the inception of the Titans I was a regular visitor at the Thayer Library, Jump City's largest. It was there that I enjoyed my favorite pastime, reading, and I discovered the joys to be found in the study of literature. I also made several visits to the Jump City Historical Society. I imagine I know more about this city's past than most people would care to know.

However, beyond that it's not like I ever really made an effort to be anything but unusual. I was the one who kept a small selection of paperback novels in the T-car in case of emergencies, of which there were quite a few. I was the one who ate my pizza with a knife and a fork rather than merely my bare hands, despite Beast Boy's regularly made objections. I'm the one who would sooner spend my earnings on a rare and expensive Ibarra four volume leather-bound edition of _Don Quixote _rather than the latest video game for the infamous Gamestation (unless it was _Silent Hill_, then I'd make an exception). I suppose this disparity stemmed largely from the manner in which I attempted to study and understand Earth's culture. The culture, ideas, and forms of media I'd found during my library visits were hardly what one would term "pop-culture." I suppose you too would be a bit behind on what was current and popular if all you knew about such things came from dusty old books rather than what you'd learned planted in front of a television.

Although none of this meant that I never indulged in the more current interests of my friends and teammates, I still would have felt more comfortable at my favorite Café discussing the latest publications dealing with philosophy and spiritualism rather than talking with the others about celebrities whose names I never remembered or cared to remember.

But, in spite of all that, as I sat there in that auditorium trying as best as I could to distract myself from the surgery footage being projected directly before me, I would have given anything for but a mere taste of the normalcy enjoyed by those around me. I longed for it if only to be at last free from the burdens that had been placed upon me by my accursed heritage, to be free from my terrible destiny. To my dismay, as I sat there trying to control my newfound blood thirst, it seemed I was only being dragged farther and farther away from that precious normalcy, to what I dared not know.

When Professor Chang's Grand Guignol of a finale mercifully came to an end, I joined a group of students who congregated about the stage taking the opportunity to ask the Professor questions directly. This surprised me to some extent that the police present would actually allow this. I tentatively looked towards the officers stationed at the exits, seeing them unmoving and uncaring in their almost uniforms. It said a great deal about the state of crime in Jump City by the manner in which the police were outfitted. In many cases the villains were better equipped than the police themselves, one of the reasons that necessitated the Titans existence. The officers looked like they had been pulled directly from one of Beast Boy's science fiction films with their body armor and masks.

I stood and waited for the crowd to diffuse wanting to have Chang's complete attention when I finally approached him. After a brief wait I was at last the only one remaining and it was then that I made my move. I knew full well that my predicament was not something that Chang was known for. At best I could hope that he could lead me to an associate of his with a similar lack of scruples.

"Professor Chang," I spoke as I pulled back my hood.

"Yes, how can I help…"as he turned towards me he recognized who I was on the spot and was clearly surprised. "What is this? You, you're supposed to be dead. It made front page news just yesterday."

"As you can see I am not nearly as dead as some would like to have me."

"Well, good for you then. Now what are you doing here? I thought the police were going to handle this themselves, unless I was lied to."

"No lie, Chang, I came here myself. There is a matter I wish to discuss with you."

"Hold on now. I've been in prison since you all dragged me back from Steel City after that damned lunatic kidnapped me. If by some miracle I manage to live long enough, all I want is to finish my prison sentence and live out my remaining days comfortably. I have _not_ done anything illegal. I have no information about anything illegal. I haven't even considered escaping from prison in the year since you and your blasted friends first arrested me. Unless that's what you want to talk about, how I almost beat you," as he spoke a strangely pleased look came onto his face as if he were somehow satisfied with the outcome."

"All I seem to remember from your case was the sad story of a pawn trying to become a king. It ended badly."

"Regardless of your sentiments, girl, I still managed to incapacitate four of the Titans, including yourself. I would not be so spiteful in the face of such an accomplishment."

"I admit that, you did manage to contain four of us. However, that only makes you defeat all the more embarrassing. The odds had been in your favor and yet you were still beaten. That is hardly something you should look back on with such pride."

Chang clearly bristled at my remarks and then began to hurriedly gather together all his things, notes, writing utensils, books and all. "I don't need to take this from you," he spoke icily. "Whatever you wanted from me forget it. I have done nothing wrong, and I will leave here content with that knowledge. Good afternoon." With that he began to stride hurriedly away holding on to all his possessions in a tottering heap nestled in his arms. I followed him down the steps from the stage, determined, despite his parting remarks, to get what I had come for.

As he came to the foot of the stairs he stumbled on the step slightly and most of what he had been carrying went falling forward in a monumental cascade of paper, books, and other such items. He gave an aggravated cry as he then proceeded to squat down on the floor as best he could, despite the bulk of his outfit, and collect what he had dropped.

I knelt down beside him and helped gather up what I could and promptly handed it to him once we'd both finished.

"Professor Chang," I spoke, "if you help me then I will grant you any request within my power. You won't be helping the Titans, you will merely be helping me. At the very least all I want is information."

"And all I want is to be able to someday leave prison outside the confines of a wooden box. I would help you if you could get my prison sentence shortened. If you could do that then I'd be willing to give you anything in return."

"That, I'm afraid, is something I can't do."

"Well then, it seems you and I are both out of luck. Thank you for helping me with my things," he then turned to leave.

"Wait a moment. You said yourself that you don't have any information that could help the Titans or the police. If you did then I could help you. Unless you have something to give me then you'll need to think of another request."

He stopped short of leaving, "Well, when you put it that way there may be a small piece of information I could pass along to you."

"Is that a fact," I droned.

"Yes it is. I can give you information to help you catch Brother Blood without him even putting up a fight. Does that sound informative enough to you?"

The H.I.V.E. Academy's sadistic headmaster Brother Blood, or what was left of him, had escaped from prison several months ago with the help of his students. It had been a daring operation, no doubt fueled by the importance of the person they were to rescue. By the time we had arrived on the scene Blood was long gone, leaving behind a few unfortunate students who were unable to join him in his freedom. But, despite all that the operation had seemed a little too organized to have been carried out by a leaderless and broken H.I.V.E. Academy, someone had clearly been guiding the enemy's hand. The question was who. In addition if the Academy had been taken over by someone else then why would they go to such extreme lengths to bring back their predecessor?

In the months preceding Brother Blood's escape the Academy had been taking on a very low profile. Students carried out only small "assignments" which consisted of petty thievery; which ranged from electronic stores to Red Cross shipments. The robbery that the other Titans had gone to on this day had only been the latest in this string of crimes. The students themselves also seemed to be fighting us with a certain desperation that they'd never displayed before. These acts were hardly on the same scale as Blood's attempt to wipe out Jump City with an artificial tidal wave. The only things stolen were electronics equipment and medical supplies.

On some level I think we all knew what this meant, but we simply never spoke of it aloud. It seemed just too extraordinary, too depraved to be true. There had to be some other answer and Brother Blood undoubtedly had it. If Professor Chang had information that could lead to the capture of Brother Blood then I could see about shortening his prison sentence.

"Very well, I give you my word to use this information to shorten your time in prison and you help me with my problem."

"No, no, no, no," he said wagging his finger at me, "you get my prison sentence shortened first then I'll help you. You may be one of the Teen Titans but that doesn't mean I completely trust you."

"Well, that's a problem then. This is non-negotiable. I get what I want now or never and I have the time to be patient with you Professor Chang. As you've told me time is not a luxury you possess. I can leave here now and allow you to languish for the rest of you life in a prison cell or you can take a minor risk and enter into this deal with me. Its your choice."

For a moment I could feel him glaring at me from behind his goggles, apparently fighting the urge to lash out at me for my scathing remarks. I looked back at him unmoved, determined, and cold. I confess, I was playing a dangerous game. In reality time was something that neither of us had. I knew full well that I could not and would not remain a vampire for long. I was willing to go this far for a cure to this damned disease.

It was only a short time later that Chang's shoulders slumped weakly at his sides. "Okay," he spoke with a sigh, "I will do as you ask. But I expect you to hold up your end of the bargain."

"I promise you that I will. Now then, what do you have to tell me Professor Chang?"

"What did you think of my little talk? I imagine you've been here since the beginning."

"I found it stimulating, to say the least."

"Hmph, stimulating," he repeated indignantly. "Do you remember my mentioning a device called the cybernetic nexus? Well Brother Blood has one. All you'd need to do to incapacitate him would be to strike a blow to a certain spot on his body and he'd be paralyzed. Its located at a structural weak point in the body itself," he tapped an area of his chest with a finger to reveal the location. "A laser blast or its equivalent could punch easily through the layers of metal, plastic, and circuitry to get to the nexus. After that he'd be at your mercy."

"Why didn't you tell the police about this in Steel City?"

"They never asked."

"Does Brother Blood know?"

"He didn't ask either," Chang replied with a satisfied grin.

"Dr. Richard Lang," I read the name aloud from the torn piece of notepaper that Professor Chang had written the information on. This was turning into quite the odyssey for me. What had at first been a simple trip to Jump City University for information from Professor Chang had now expanded into an additional bus ride that would take me out of town and to the resort community of Ashford just north of Jump City.

Dr. Lang had lived at a beach-house there ever since his license to practice had been revoked for reasons I could only imagine. Despite this minor impediment, Lang still did exercise his knowledge of medicine for a certain price. I needn't have to worry about paying, though. Professor Chang had told me to simply mention that it was a favor for "James."

As I'd left the university I couldn't help but wonder which one of us had gotten the better end of the deal. I had came out of it with the path to the cure I sought as well as information that would be crucial to the capture of Brother Blood. On the other side of the coin Professor Chang would have his prison sentence shortened to some extent and he would have the monumental satisfaction that he had played a pivotal role in Brother Blood's downfall.

At the end of the day, though, we'd both gotten what we wanted. I had no reason to believe he'd lied to me. Professor Chang, throughout his criminal career, had been the one who was used by other villains. He had been the one who was manipulated by others and after years and years of that type of work he'd become tired of it. When he'd been carted away to prison after his ill-fated laser cannon scheme he at least went with the satisfaction that he'd established himself as a true villain, no longer a puppet to be manipulated.

Brother Blood had forced him back into that position, restored him to his role as a pawn. After the whole Steel City debacle Chang may not have shown it outwardly but he clearly had been infuriated by how Brother Blood had used him. The profoundly satisfied look upon his face when he told me just how to bring Brother Blood down. This was Professor Chang's revenge, and myself and the rest of the Titans were merely the instruments carrying out that vengeance. Perhaps that story of the pawn trying to become a king hadn't ended as badly as I'd told Chang it had.

After I'd left the university and was busy navigating the bus routes I went about the task of making sure the others knew what I was up to, at least as much as I'd wanted them to know. I'd told them of Professor Chang's information on Brother Blood and that I was going to visit a colleague of his to verify it. Robin offered to help but I declined. The battle with the three Academy students Jinx, Gizmo, and Mammoth had gone fairly well. Although they ultimately escaped arrest with a small amount of stolen merchandise they hadn't gotten away with nearly as much as they'd planned to.

On board the bus to Ashford I found myself surrounded by an exotic potpourri of humans with their own reasons for taking the trip. It was early to mid afternoon. The bus' windows were tinted to an extent that I could gaze at my surroundings without being overpowered by the sunlight. I could discern among the crowd a few commuters hapless enough to live outside of the city, a scant amount of tourists heading out for an early vacation before the summer rush began, and a wide variety of others all united by their common lack of any other form of transportation.

I had turned seventeen only a short while ago that year and still hadn't found the need to take the initiative to learn how to drive. It simply didn't interest me. If there had been somewhere we had to go then the T-Car would do. Besides, It wasn't like Cyborg would dare to let anyone other than himself drive his "baby," license or not. Other than that there was always the option to fly myself but that usually drew more attention than it was worth. More often then not when I had the option I preferred to walk.

In any event, this bus ride wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. Because I always wore my signature hood over my face in public it was rare that anyone could recognize me without it. It wasn't that I had a secret identity like Robin had; it was just that most of these people had seen and were used to seeing me on TV or in the news in that outfit and nothing else. If I walked the city in normal dress I might as well have been a different person to all but the most observant of passers-by. That was something I was thankful for. I never much cared for the celebrity status that being a Titan accorded us, it all just seemed so…excessive.

In my mind it was no different from the Slade hysteria that washed over the city when the madman had made his first dramatic appearance. A segment of Jump City's youth latched onto the vision of Slade as a sort of idealized rebel and suddenly t-shirts with the image of his signature black and orange mask started popping up. Slade and the Titans, we both were pop-culture icons, the people the tabloids wrote stories about, the figures whose names and visages are scrawled onto anything that could be sold ranging from t-shirts to lunchboxes, shoes to baseball caps. Beast Boy loved it. He had a tendency to buy anything he came across that had his name or likeness on it. He amassed quite a collection of "Beast Boy Memorabilia." In my eyes at least, it was all just overwhelming.

If there was one bright side to the whole debacle it was that whenever I saw my image scrawled onto those items it was always with my hood covering my face. None of them ever showed anything beyond the lower portion of my face. The depiction of Raven wearing her blue Azarathian cloak and black leotard had become iconic. To most people, it seemed, I wasn't Raven without them. Whenever I would go out in public without my friends I would dress in normal clothing. That was the closest I ever got to my precious normalcy, by becoming part of the crowd.

None of the passengers on that bus knew me but none of them were brazen enough to sit next to me either. Thank God for small favors. What made the trip all the more pleasant though was that the hunger I'd felt back at the auditorium had left me, to a point. I could still feel those annoying hunger pangs in the pit of my stomach but I felt none of that raw unfettered need for blood. It seemed that that would only happen if I sensed blood in some way either through vision or scent. Blood was something I saw quite often while fighting crime in the city. If this was how I'd react to it whenever I saw it then my situation was dire indeed.

As the bus continued onwards to Ashford I reclined into my seat, taking advantage of the fact that no one had taken up the space next to me, and rested my head against the window. Dr. Lang had to have the answer to my problem; I saw no other option out of my dilemma. He simply had to.

Ashford was a small town, its residents more interested in expanding tourism than building a large residential community (the Ferris wheel at the beach-side amusement park stood just as prominently over the town as the church steeple did.) The streets were lined with quaint little stores each specialized to a certain service. After having gotten so used to the vast towering landscape of Jump City, it felt like stepping into another era to stand on a street lined with buildings that were rarely more than two stories tall.

This was a blessing to the extent that it made Dr. Lang's home very easy to find. It was located on the beach just at the point where the terrain began to slope downwards towards the sand. The building itself wasn't anything truly spectacular. I was so struck by its derelict appearance that I double-checked the address Chang had given me just to make sure. Though my eyes were strained by the brightness of the afternoon sunlight I could still make out the structures defining features. An overgrown and weed-filled front lawn lead up to an old porch, its wood turned an almost grayish color from having faced far too many rainy nights. The two storied house itself looked as though it had been painted a clay color at one point but the paint had chipped to a point that only the most discerning of observers could tell for sure

It was late afternoon and the sun had set to a point that it was now giving off a glaringly bright orange glow that touched everything around me. Having the light reflecting off of the ocean waves beyond the house hadn't helped me much either. Once in the shadow of the building I could now see it in greater detail. I was relieved to find the lights on, proving to a point that there was at least someone within. I noticed also that a room on the second floor had its windows boarded up from the inside. I couldn't tell if the lights were on in that room or not but I made a reasonable guess that that was where the doctor did his work.

Drawing the hood of my sweatshirt over my face I cautiously proceeded towards the house, climbing up the old wooden steps of the porch. I had expected that, given their appearance, they would creak or at the very least groan under my weight but I heard nothing but the soft barely discernible sound of my footsteps. Not giving it much thought I continued towards the entrance. By the door I noted a large stack of empty cardboard boxes bound together with white string. Along the side of each box was an oval shaped red logo announcing that they had once contained bottles of wine from "Smith's Vineyards of California."

Each container looked like it could have comfortably held up to six bottles of wine at one point. The rich aroma of wine still clung to the boxes and tantalized my keen senses. They all appeared to be relatively new, showing little sign of damage save for the strain placed upon them when they were opened. I took it as a sign of the benefits of the doctor's questionable source of money. I rung the doorbell, and waited. Training my ears to the house's interior I heard nothing but the occasional groan and creaks that any structure is bound to make from time to time. There was no hint of anyone moving about within.

I rung the doorbell a second time, a third, a fourth, and a fifth. Finally I discerned the telltale sound of heavy determined footsteps starting from what must have been a room at the back of the house on the second floor. By the sound of his deliberately loud footsteps, it was clear that this person was not happy about my intrusion.

Undeterred, I waited a few moments longer for the footsteps to reach the front door. After several locks were opened from within and the door opened revealing a portly bespectacled little man who I assumed was in his early to mid 70's. An obscenely stretched white tank top contained his bulbous form while khaki shorts ran halfway down the short length of his legs to his knees. He was balding with only a few tufts of gray hair clinging to the sides of his scalp. In one hand he held a half full wine glass while in the other he held a smoldering cigar. Dr. Lang was far from the figure I'd imagined…hoped he would be.

At first he greeted me with an enraged look upon his face, as though I were some vandal come to damage his property. However, that quickly faded as his eyes widened suddenly and his mouth hung agape. The wine glass he'd been holding fell from his grasp and shattered upon the floor spilling its contents. He took a sudden step back as though he were retreating from some terrible enemy and I realized then that the very thing I'd wanted to avoid had happened. Dr. Lang had recognized me, hood and all.

"Oh shit," he muttered terrified. Before I could speak he threw his cigar directly at me turned and ran back into his house. I fumbled about with his cigar for a moment before I chased after him. All I could do was follow him as he fled from what he had mistaken as someone come to destroy his very way of life when in reality I was merely a victim come to seek his help.


	7. Chapter 6 A Faint Hope

Author's Note – I swear to you that this is the _final _final version of Chapter Six. I am going to start on Chapter Seven as soon as humanly possible. In the meantime I sincerely hope you enjoy what I have written. Certainly took me long enough. Feel free to criticize my procrastination as much as you like.

Disclaimer – I have never and will never own Teen Titans

Chapter 6 – A Faint Hope

Once inside Dr. Lang's home I looked about my surroundings to gain my bearings and to determine where the doctor had run off. As derelict as Dr. Lang's home had appeared from the outside, I found it even more offensive within. A light fixture hung overhead and cast a faint yellow glow onto the flower-patterned wallpaper of the house's entrance. I stood upon bare floorboards with two passages, their doors long since removed, on either side of me.

Directly in front of me to the left a small almost slanted staircase rose up to the second floor, covered with a carpet so worn one could see through to the bare wooden steps. The steps themselves were curved slightly inwards on themselves from having to shoulder too much weight over the years. To the right of the stairs was an opening leading into the darkened kitchen where the sun cast a bright orange glow through the windows.

As I listened for a moment to the sounds of the house, I could hear him fumbling about with something above me. The sound intensified into a loud clattering noise that sounded as though he'd dropped several heavy items on the floor. When Dr. Lang cursed his accident I rushed towards the stairs climbing them in leaps and bounds until I reached the second floor.

The stairs stopped at a long unlit hallway that stretched over the full width of the house on either side of me. As I listened, I determined that the doctor was behind the first door I could see at the far left portion of the second floor. Instinctively I approached the door with a great sense of caution. A faint yet strangely familiar odor hung in the air as I drew closer. I couldn't determine at the time exactly what it was I could smell but whatever it was it had put me on edge.

Once I'd reached the closed door I stood still for a moment listening carefully to whatever sound Dr. Lang made within. I could hear labored breathing; the sound of the floor creaking as he nervously shifted his weight from one foot to the other. I was stunned by how well I could hear what was going on within. My ability to hear was so amazingly acute that I already had a picture in my mind of just what I would find in the room. Dr. Lang was standing as still as he could directly in front of the closed door I now stood behind. He was near the back of the room but not so far that he had his back against the wall.

I tried the knob only to find myself struggling against the lock while Dr. Lang cried out fearfully at the sudden eruption of noise. Not wanting to do anything too spectacular with my powers rather than blow the door off its hinges I merely brought a hand up to the lock. The power needed for the act wasn't so great that I needed to chant my mantra to summon it. A thin strand of black energy slipped gently through the keyhole and after a moment the lock gave way with a soft click and the door swung open.

The room, I found, could be best described as looking like Christmas morning at Titans Tower. The floor was littered with boxes, crumpled bits of packaging paper, styrofoam casing, and scattered leaflets of paper. Whatever money Dr. Lang had made he'd seen fit to spend on frivolous items rather than maintaining his home. While his house fell into decay he'd purchased a plasma screen television that now adorned the wall on the far left of the room, several out of place paintings hung from the walls, crystal wine glasses were accompanied by a vast assortment of bottles and packages like the ones I'd noticed at the front door.

The portion of the floor that wasn't covered with packing material was filled by the spilled contents of a box of ammunition that Dr. Lang had dropped while hurriedly loading the revolver he now held and pointed directly at me. The unknown scent I'd caught earlier I now knew to be gunpowder.

"Stay right where you are or I will shoot you!" Dr. Lang's hands trembled as he strained to keep the gun level with my form. A desk stood behind him littered with papers, whatever he'd been working on when I'd interrupted him. "Nice disguise but I know exactly who you are Raven!" sweat poured down his face and he shivered with all too obvious fear. "Come here to shut me down have you, well I'm not going that easily."

There were any number of things I could have done at this point. I could have easily summoned my powers and cleanly knocked the gun from his hands. I could have rushed him and simply blocked the bullet if and when he fired. Instead I merely raised my hands in mock surrender. I didn't want to fight, that would have only worsened an already bad situation. Besides, despite the fact that I had no way of knowing how a gunshot wound would affect my body I was in no hurry to find out.

"Calm down," I spoke pulling my hood back, "there's no need to fire that gun or to even aim it. I'm here for medical advice, I was told that you could help me."

"I don't believe you!" he cried as his hands began to shake even more. "Your just trying to string me along until the rest of you freaks show up to arrest me. You're not gonna fool me."

"Dr. Lang, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that last remark of yours. Look around yourself, do you honestly believe that whatever you've been doing here is so big that the Teen Titans would be sent after you. You're giving yourself far too much credit. Sending the Titans after you would be like sending the military after a common thief."

For a moment Dr. Lang's hand wavered as he held the gun in my direction, his resolve faltering slightly. Then an instant later the gun was again pointed at me if only a little more weakly than before. "Even if what your saying is true you're just as much of a threat to me as the police. You're not going to let me get away with all that I've done."

I sighed, "As much as it galls me I will as long as you help me. Besides James Chang sent me."

"James sent you?"

"Yes. Apparently you owe him a favor. Help me with my problem and the debt is paid."

For a time Dr. Lang seemed indecisive, his eyes wandering around the room searching for something, what I did not know. I spoke no more, I'd said all that needed to be said. If I hadn't convinced the doctor to help me at this point then there was nothing that would.

He looked at me once more, this time more sharply and with more confidence than before, took a deep breath, turned and placed the gun on the desk behind him.

He then reached a hand up to straighten what little grey hair he had on his head. "Care for a drink?" he asked cheerfully as he gestured to his wine collection.

I declined to take advantage of Dr. Lang's offer. Wine was not what I had a thirst for at that moment. Once things had calmed down somewhat he proceeded to lead me to the room across the hall from what I reasoned was his office. After unlocking the door he lead me in. This, I found, was the sealed up room I had noticed form outside. It was shaped like a rectangle and ran about half the width of the house. At one point it had apparently been two rooms but Lang had knocked down a wall to expand. One could still notice the spot, even on the freshly tiled floor, that marked where a wall had once divided the area.

The room was filled almost to the ceiling with medical equipment. An examination table rested in the center of the room and was surrounded by enough equipment to humble even the infirmary at Titans Tower. The room smelled of chemicals and a faint but all too familiar scent I knew to be medical blood stored somewhere within. It was there and to smell it in even the slightest made my stomach lurch with longing. I wanted so badly to find the source of that scent but did what I could to keep myself under control. While I hung back at the threshold, Dr. Lang walked right in, his overweight frame shifting with each step, and held up his hands gesturing proudly towards his surroundings.

"All this I owe to Professor Chang. If it hadn't been for him I wouldn't be where I am today. Well come on in, make yourself comfortable."

Dr. Lang had once been a respected physician. I didn't know it at the time but he had once worked at the infamous Jump City State Hospital, colloquially known as an insane asylum. JCSH was a relic of the days when people believed they could cure a mental illness just like any other disease and Dr. Lang was one of the people who believed this. He helped perform electroshock therapy along with other despicable "treatments" for patients during his time there. This required him to be more of a physician then an actual psychiatrist. Budget cuts, however, meant the end for most state-run mental hospitals like JCSH while privately owned and operated institutions like Gotham's famous Arkham Asylum remained open

Years after the hospital closed several former patients filed a lawsuit against Dr. Lang for the suffering he'd inflicted on them. Apparently he'd done more than he could have or should have done in his attempts at treating them. They won the case and Dr. Lang had to pay reparations (most of which he was still paying by the time I'd first met him) and he lost his license to practice.

Luckily for him by that point Professor Chang, an old friend of Lang's, had already established himself as one of Jump City's leading suppliers of anything and everything illegal or hard to come by. He helped Dr. Lang get back on his feet and establish his new unofficial practice in Ashford. Apparently some of his old post-JCSH patients had the guile to take occasional trips up to Ashford rather than go through the trouble of finding new physicians.

"Yes," Lang sighed speaking more to himself than to me, "it'll do me good to repay a debt to an old friend. So, what's the problem. It would have to be something serious if Chang felt it could ever pay for all this."

The moment had at last come. I now had to reveal everything to another person. I said nothing and merely looked the man over for a moment. As I gazed upon the bulbous little man standing in front of me, watching me quizzically, I wished that I had simply told the others about this whole mess when I'd awoken the night before. I wished I had told Starfire when I'd had the chance earlier that morning. I wished for a lot of things in that moment and none of them involved telling the earth-shattering truth that I was a vampire to a complete and total stranger.

As large as the room was it suddenly felt very small, almost claustrophobic. For the first time during that long day I started to wonder if I really wanted to go through with this, if this was really the way I wanted to do this. I still wanted a cure, there was no doubt in my mind about that, but now that I was standing at the threshold looking my answer straight in the eye I was overwhelmed by a great uncertainty about the whole thing.

But more than that, how could I even begin to tell someone about something so extraordinary that I even found it hard to believe at times. Vampires belonged in books and movies, which was how I'd always thought of them since the day I'd first heard of them. They were fiction, a work of fantasy. I now had to not only explain to Dr. Lang that vampires were in fact real but also that I had unwittingly become a member of their ranks in the past 48 hours.

"Come on now, out with it," Dr. Lang spoke with the slightest twinge of impatience entering his voice that snapped me back to reality. "You're going to have to tell me what the problem is if you want me to help you. There's no need to be embarrassed. Whatever it is, I promise you, I will do everything I can."

"Dr. Lang, it's not a matter of my being embarrassed. Its simply that my problem is…unusual."

"Well, given the line of work your in, your lifestyle," he said straightening his glasses, "I wouldn't be surprised if you came into contact with all sorts of _unusual_ things."

"Not this unusual," my muscles tightened from the anxiety even as I tried desperately to strengthen my resolve to tell him. I couldn't reveal the truth outright, then there would be little chance that he would believe me or so I thought. No, I'd have to show him rather than tell him. I placed pressure on the muscles in my jaw trying to figure out how I'd done this the night before. Then I'd done it simply by relaxing my muscles during meditation so I reasoned that I could find a way to do it by tensing up those same muscles.

"What are you doing?"

I paid him no mind and continued my attempts until I felt that familiar friction of teeth rubbing against each other as my fangs descended. I played my tongue over them if only to be completely sure they were there, just as sharp as before and terribly real. Then, when I was at last ready, I bore them to Dr. Lang and held the pose long enough for him to get a good long look.

For a moment he squinted at them, as though they were some figment of his imagination. They were undeniably fixed into my gums and far too long to have been filed down from other teeth but despite all that he fixed his gaze with mine, "Just what in the hell is this, some kind of sick joke?" he asked incredulously.

"Dr. Lang, I know how ridiculous this must look to you but I assure you this is no joke," I responded calmly surprised at how well I could speak with those damned fangs.

"Honestly vampires? Do you realize what you're asking me to believe?"

"Do you realize what I went through to find you? I now have to find a way to get your friend Chang's prison sentence shortened in exchange for sending me to you. Not only that but I now have to turn a blind eye to whatever illegal activities your involved in and I've done all this just so I can have a doctor find away to cure me without the risk of anyone finding out." I waited while he still had that unbelieving gaze fixed upon me. "Check my pulse, my respiration if you want more proof than this!"

And so he did. He checked my heart rate, my breathing; he even attempted to take a blood sample. Because there was no blood pressure I had to squeeze my finger to force out enough blood for Lang to check. By the time we were finished he acknowledged me with wonder as though I represented some monumental discovery, the answer to an age-old question."

"Vampires," he spoke the word with a dreamy kind of reverence that made me feel sick, "to think that they actually exist. By all rights you should be dead but your functioning nonetheless just like a normal person…better than a normal person…"

"Normal people don't have to drink the blood of the innocent to function."

"Without a need for normal respiratory function or for your heart to pump the blood throughout your system your body must then draw its energy from the blood itself. I'm merely guessing about all this but as long as you have a steady supply of fresh blood its possible that your body wouldn't be affected by exhaustion or the stress of physical exertion. If the stories are true you could very well be immortal. Just think of how effective a crime fighter you could be then. And who says that you have to drink the blood of the _innocent_ when there are so many people in your life who aren't innocent? The blood of the sinner must taste just as sweet as the blood of the virtuous," Lang reasoned.

"Dr. Lang, I'm a hero. When it comes to the well being of others I don't discriminate between the guilty or the innocent. Its not my place to decide who lives and who dies."

"With your line of work, dear girl you must have some provision allowing you to use lethal force in a fight. I don't see how you couldn't with the type of criminals you face regularly."

He was right, there was just such a provision for us Titans. Even so it was something that we silently forbade. We never spoke it aloud but somehow we all knew that we should never kill anyone no matter what the circumstances. Realistically it was impossible to make such a promise but by that point we'd done an impeccable job of keeping it. Nothing seemed more offensive to me than having to kill in order to simply survive. I wouldn't hear anymore of what Dr. Lang was telling me.

"Dr. Lang, this is no debate. I came here to have you find me a cure for this condition. You have a promise to Professor Chang to fulfill and we both want you to come through on your end. Out of necessity I have thus far neglected my obligations to the law in regards to your fine medical practice here. Unless you help me then I may just start doing my job. Do I make myself clear?"

Dr. Lang sighed, defeated. "Yes, I understand. There's no convincing you. If I am to find you an antidote then I suppose the most viable place to start would be an examination of that blood sample I've just taken from you. I think its only fair to warn you that this could take anywhere form days to weeks before I find the answer. Will that meet with your approval, Raven?"

_Weeks_ he said. My hands clenched into fists at the thought of staying that way for any longer than I already had. But, what choice did I have? I did not want people to find out about this, especially not my friends. I knew full well how fragile my humanity was and I wanted to hang on to every last bit of it for as long as I could. I was going to stay as normal as I possibly could right up to the very end.

"Yes doctor, that meets with my approval," I spoke the words calmly.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

The steps still made not the slightest sound as I trudged uncertainly down them leaving Dr. Lang to his own devices. I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd done something I shouldn't have. I knew that I wanted a cure, I wanted to be Raven again more than anything else in the world but the manner in which I was reaching for that goal felt unnerving.   
I was making deals with criminals, degenerates, lowlifes and all for what? Just so no one could ever find out? Brother Blood's weakness, that was what I concentrated on above anything else. That was a truly valuable piece of information that we wouldn't have had otherwise. If there was any one truly good thing I'd done that day then it was obtaining that small piece of information. All thoughts of this, however, were swept from my mind as I at last stepped outside and experienced the night for the first time as only a vampire can.

As the cool night air washed over me I felt refreshed by it, perhaps even invigorated. As with the morning earlier when I'd felt myself become noticeable weaker I now noticed that with the coming of the night I felt stronger somehow, as though I were weightless. I'd been on the move all day long without so much as a break. Robin, Starfire, Beast Boy, even Cyborg would need to recharge his powercells after everything I'd done and yet, in that moment, I felt that I could do it all over again.

But it was what I saw, or the manner in which I saw things that stopped me in my tracks. I…am uncertain as to how I should describe what it was that I saw but…I suppose it says something that what I saw was indescribable. I'd always walked in the dark but I'd always associated that very darkness with death.

That night the darkness was lifted from my eyes and I saw how truly alive the night was. It brought tears to my eyes. I wondered, if Dr. Lang's unkempt and overgrown front yard had this powerful an effect on me then how beautiful would the pine forests to the west of the city be to my eyes, or the darkness of the deep ocean. Unbidden, a smile formed on my lips at the mere thought of all these tantalizing possibilities. I was smiling (something I rarely do to this day) at the mere thought of being able to see things. That was how powerful that image of the night was for me.

Just as I had earlier, I found myself greatly enjoying myself. But…I couldn't…I couldn't allow myself to enjoy this. If it weren't for that damned blood thirst I would probably have just taken my transformation in stride. I realized that was all that mattered; it was the only thing that drove me to find a cure. The fact that I'd need blood, that I'd have to kill in order to survive.

Disturbing thoughts, I turned my attention to other matters. The day was over so I no longer had to worry about the sunlight affecting my vision nor did I have to keep up the appearance of a normal person any longer. So I took to the sky and flew off in the direction I knew home to be in. It was 10:00 by the time I reached the tower.

The scent of pizza was the first thing that reached me as the elevator reached the main level of Titans Tower. I reasoned it was in celebration of the recent victory against Jinx, Mammoth, and Gizmo. That and, I thought, a convenient alternative to leftovers from Starfire's celebratory feast from the night before. I strode eagerly into the main room thinking that a slice might have some effect on my ever-present hunger. If anything it would keep me away from the medical blood stowed in my room for a time.

"Hey Raven. Was wondering when you'd get back," Cyborg called from where he was seated on the curved couch at the television. He was the only one there; the others had gone to bed some time ago. Cyborg had the television on, I'd gotten home just in time for the news.

"Cyborg," I nodded in greeting, "why are you still up at this hour? I didn't expect to find anyone awake when I got here."

"Decided to wait up for ya. Besides, we all thought it was a good idea to have someone up to make sure you got home ok."

"How considerate of you," I spoke trying my best to hide the sardonic streak in my voice, "would you have done this for me if I hadn't had a near death experience?"

"Of course," he spoke so simply that anyone could tell it was the truth. That at least allowed me to relax to a degree. The last thing I needed was the other Titans constantly reminding me of what had happened by giving me an excessive amount of attention, by worrying and fussing over me. I knew they meant well but I suppose all I wanted was for things to progress as though nothing had happened. I didn't want them to think of me any differently than they had before.

"May I have a slice of pizza?" I asked as I made my way towards the kitchen.

"Um…how'd you kno…help yourself its in the fridge."

So I set to work. I filled my kettle with water and placed it on the stove to boil. A cup for the tea as well as a plate for the pizza was soon retrieved from a cupboard. I set the timer on the microwave for a little under five minutes and joined Cyborg on the couch while the pizza heated.

"So, how did the fight go today?" I asked.

"Oh you mean with Jinx and the rest, yeah we came out of it alright. Gizmo let loose some missiles that caused some damage but other than that we won."

"But they did get away."

"Yeah, well…we'll catch them sooner or later."

"So, I take it I wasn't missed then?"

"Of course you were missed. Hell, if you were there they wouldn't even have had a chance of getting away. Besides, its not like you weren't doing anything important today."

"That's true…I guess."

"You guess! Raven you found us an easy way to take down Brother Blood, put him back in jail. As I see it, that's important."

Cyborg was to Brother Blood what Robin was to Slade. Both had undeniable fixations on certain major villains. But I couldn't really fault Cyborg for his interest in Brother Blood as much as I could Robin for his Ahab-like obsession with Slade. The headmaster of the HIVE Academy had taken the life saving technology of cybernetics from Cyborg's own internal blueprints and perverted them, twisting them to his own intentions. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't offended by his actions.

"We'll put him back in jail and he'll stay there for the rest of his life," he said more to himself than to me.

"Yes," I began, "it could very well end that way providing he shows his face sometime in the future. And I'm pretty sure they won't fail to notice a tracking device like they did last time."

"Well, even if he doesn't show himself all we have to do is catch one of his students and find out from them."

"Yes, but because of this deal Professor Chang, a man who tried to destroy the city with a laser cannon, is going to have his prison sentence shortened," I insisted.

"Raven, Chang already has one foot in the grave. I don't see the harm in letting him out before he has both feet firmly planted. You didn't when you made that deal with him."

"No," I sighed, "I didn't. But that doesn't change the fact that I feel that I've done something I shouldn't have."

"Well then I think you need to ask yourself if the ends justify the means. Does catching someone like Blood, a man who willfully disfigured himself and whole heartedly intended to do the same to others justify letting someone like Professor Chang out of jail so he can enjoy what time he has left."

"I guess you have a point," I said becoming more and more uncertain as I considered my actions in their true context."

"See Raven, even when you can't fight with us your still an incredibly valuable part of the team."

I smiled at his words as the timer finally went off on my pizza accompanied by steam blowing out of the teakettle in a soft whistle. I headed for the kitchen and retrieved my reheated pizza from the microwave and finished preparing my tea. I then returned to the couch outfitted with a napkin, knife, and fork. I had to use my powers in order to carry the whole set.

Cyborg watched me with a certain interest as I gently placed the unfolded napkin in my lap, set the plate down on top of it, and knife and fork in hand proceeded to cut off a small piece at the very tip of the slice.

"Hehehe…y'know Raven, that's not really how your supposed to eat pizza."

"Cyborg, I could reprimand you and the others for eating pizza with your bare hands just as easily as you reproach me for my table manners."

"Hey, I'm not 'reprimanding' you," he said with a laugh showing he meant no harm, "it just seems like too much work just for one piece of pizza."

I smiled as I impaled the piece I'd cut with my fork and brought it to my lips. The moment it passed my lips and came into contact with my taste buds I spat it out as though it were the most horrid thing I'd ever tasted. My eyes were tearing from the intensity of the flavor. The rush of flavor was simply too strong and it came at me all at once. Out of instinct I took up my tea and took a sip, not caring about how hot it may have been at the time. But my favorite herbal tea only made matters worse.

Feeling as though I was going to vomit I rushed to the sink at quickly as I could all the while Cyborg chased after me trying to figure out what was wrong with me, after all he'd had the same pizza just hours earlier.

"Raven, what's wrong! Are you choking! It that it!"

"No," I managed with a strained voice, "the pizza…my tea…tastes terrible"

"Alright, alright just relax," he spoke soothingly to me as he took a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water from the sink. "Here, drink this."

I reluctantly took a first sip from the water and finding the taste mild enough for me to continue quickly drank the whole glass, washing away the impossibly strong flavor of my tea and that piece of pizza I'd tried to eat. Nothing I experienced was the same anymore, not even food.

Cyborg seemed somehow impressed by how calm I'd become so quickly after my violent reaction to the food. By all rights I should've been breathing heavily, sweating from the exhortation but I stood there as placid and calm as I had been when I first stepped out of the elevator. For a moment I considered acting as though the experience had a lasting effect on me but decided against it. That would've seemed even more suspicious.

"I'll thrown the pizza out, there must've been something wrong with the piece you ate," he said as he walked towards the refrigerator to retrieve the pizza box. Before reaching the fridge he stopped in front of the counter where I'd left my box of teabags out. "Might as well throw these out too if there's something wrong with them."

I rushed forward and stopped him before he to up the box. Something just didn't add up. "Cyborg, I had tea this morning with my breakfast and it was alright then. Starfire made me a cup."

He looked at me strangely as I finished speaking. "Um…Raven, you do realize that Starfire only gave you a cup of boiled water this morning do you? She didn't put a teabag in with it. One of us would've said something but after last night we thought it would be better to just let her be."

My resolve weakened as Cyborg took the box from the counter and promptly dropped it into the trash. "We'll get more tomorrow," he assured me. "Now for that pizza."

I didn't have the heart to stop him as he was about to throw out a perfectly good pizza that only I couldn't enjoy. No…he stopped himself as the dialogue from a special news bulletin reached his ears from the television.

_Breaking news from the downtown electronics district where a fight broke out between members of the HIVE Academy criminal organization and the Teen Titans. A body has been found in the rubble of one of the buildings damaged during the fight when the criminal known as Gizmo launched a barrage of missiles to cover the escape of himself and his partners Jinx and Mammoth. Manslaughter has now been added to the list of charges that the diminutive felon will face when and if he is caught. The body has been identified as that of a Mr. Jonathan Frid, owner of a shipping firm based in Maine._

The pizza box Cyborg had been holding fell to the floor as the impact of the news hit him. I was just as horrified by the news but there was something else that had a far greater effect on me about the report. A picture of the victim, who they called Jonathan Frid, was shown onscreen along with a date of birth and death. But it wasn't Jonathan Frid that I saw. I recognized the man in the photograph immediately.

He was only slightly taller than myself, his hair styled in a conservative fashion. He wore a dark overcoat over his business suit while his gloved hands gripped a silver wolf's head cane. His face had the appearance of a man who had aged considerably and probably didn't want to age any further. His eyes were slightly sunken into his skull yet it wasn't so prominent that it was grotesque. There was not a trace of doubt in my mind. The man in the photograph was Barnabas Collins.


	8. Chapter 7 The Late Barnabus Collins

Chapter 7 – The Late Barnabus Collins

During the years I spent on Azarath when I was very young I was all too aware of what I was destined to do. It was something that, whether intentionally or not, was constantly reinforced during my day-to-day life. Save for the few monks who educated me and saw to it that I was in good health no one was allowed to have physical or, to an extent, even verbal contact with me for fear of my father's influence.

From an early age I knew that once my eighteenth birthday came around I would be destined to free my father from his exile and thus bring about the destruction of everyone and everything I ever cared about. Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night screaming and I would look hopefully around my bedchamber, despite my fear, in the hope that someone would have heard me.

In my youth I hoped that someone would come and I wouldn't have to be alone. But my prayers went unheeded, nothing changed. After a while I knew better than to think that someone would come and comfort me in my despair. So I looked my destiny straight in the face, saw the hell I was fated to create, pictured it in my mind instead of solely in my nightmares, and got used to it. At the time I had no other choice. In those days when it came to my personal problems and insecurities I had no one to depend upon but myself and, after a while, that was enough.

Years later I came to Earth and with the formation of the Titans found myself living under completely different circumstances with people who didn't simply care about me but also sought to understand me. If they guessed or imagined I had some personal problem they'd become concerned and press me to explain what was troubling me. These were the sort of people who'd have come to my aid if they'd heard me screaming in the night…and I hated it. I hated the attention they gave me, the attempts they made to draw me out of my room, my sanctuary.

The British poet John Donne once wrote, "No man is an island, entire of itself." I was raised from birth specifically to be an island: independent, solitary, and complete. After all those years it was hard for me to be anything else.

Because of the isolated experience of my childhood (if you could even consider it a childhood by Earth's standards) combined with the knowledge of my destiny I'd learned to carry myself very well. I never acted or showed a tendency to be overly emotional or fragile no matter the circumstances. If there was some problem that concerned the team as a whole or if an individual member needed help I did my part along with the others. If I had a personal problem I dealt with it on my own. That was just the way I'd been raised to do things.

"How did this happen? How could we let this happen!" Robin shouted as he went over the details of Mr. Frid's death for what must've been the twentieth time in under a half an hour. He'd had it faxed to the Tower as soon as Cyborg had woken him along with Starfire and Beast Boy. It was a detailed fifteen page long report covering most every aspect of the scene where the body was discovered from the locations of bits of debris from the explosion to which piece of what had been the man was which.

No one had the heart to come up with a response lament. Starfire, who didn't have the stomach to read the report, was pacing around the main room wringing her hands in dismay. Beast Boy and Cyborg were watching the news report in apparent disbelief as it played out once more on the giant television monitor. We'd never had a casualty in the, as hard as it may be to believe we'd had a perfect record up to that point. In most circumstances an effort would be made by the police to have everyone moved out of the way when a situation arose that required the Titans. But even so it was nothing short of a miracle when considering the sort of villains we faced.

I could understand how the others felt. Robin's perfectionist attitude would never allow this sort of thing. I knew when I first saw the news story that he'd want Gizmo apprehended as soon as humanly possible, regardless of whether or not it was an accident on the part of the pint-sized mechanic. From the others I sensed a profound feeling of grief, regret, guilt, even shame. If it had been any other person, even though I knew full well the possibility of this sort of thing happening always existed, I would have probably felt the same way. But at that moment I didn't know how to feel.

I sat on the couch, calmly sipping a glass of water, occasionally studying the now cold piece of pizza that still rested on the coffee table in front of me. He was the vampire who attacked me, the one who destroyed me, I was sure of it. The report even included the silver wolf's head cane he'd used to strike me down in the park.

The death of the monster Barnabus Collins brought me no sense of satisfaction or relief. It only succeeded in making my situation all the more unsettling. He'd sought me out, flown across the country to find me and turn me, and his reasons were lost with him. Why me? Was it out of some perverse interest he'd developed over my celebrity status? Was I just in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or was there more to it?

I couldn't help but entertain the idea that Barnabas had been an emissary of my father, Trigon. It certainly made sense to me at the time given my negative perspective on my situation. What better way to diminish my humanity than to turn me into a beast that would prey on humans? Yet…that was all speculation. I had no proof, all the answers died with him. At least I found some morbid sense of comfort in knowing it was possible for a vampire to be killed providing enough bodily harm was caused. The last of my last resorts.

By the time I finished my water it was already a quarter to midnight. The others had been awake for a little over an hour. I'd been awake for well over twenty-four hours and felt no fatigue. I felt like I'd never be tired again.

"Damn it!" Robin slammed his fist down on the coffee table causing my abandoned meal to rattle and all eyes to turn to him. "Why didn't we notice this guy!"

"Man, calm down," Cyborg began. "He must've just got caught up in the fight and took cover, hid in that alley. If I were him and I walked into that kind of fight I'd probably've done the same thing."

"That answer's not good enough for me. We save people, we don't let them get killed in the crossfire."

"Dude, give it a rest alright. Yeah, it sucks and all but there's no use in getting all crazy and angry about it," Beast Boy.

"Fine Beast Boy. Do you know why I _shouldn't_ be angry about this? A person got killed on our watch feet from where we were standing and we didn't know about it till hours later when bits and pieces of him were picked out of the rubble!" he stood up as he spoke, towering over all of us, practically yelling the words. Beast Boy backed down. I hadn't seen Robin this unstable since Slade.

"Robin, please listen," Starfire said resting a hand on his shoulder, restraining him the way only a loved one could. He eventually relaxed and sat down with her. "This is indeed a terrible occurrence, but anger will not change anything. We should concentrate on finding Gizmo, not on finding fault with outselves," she regarded him with a sorrowful yet understanding gaze that would have moved even me.

Robin took a deep breath in response to Starfire's words before he spoke again. "But what about you Star," he spoke softly as though he were uncertain about what he was saying, "what about how angry you were about what happened to Raven last night when you thought she'd been killed. Are you saying that because we didn't know this man we shouldn't angry about this? That we shouldn't have Gizmo 'in chains here within the hour' because he wasn't one of our friends?"

Starfire then slowly removed her hand from Robin's shoulder, hurt. "Robin, that is not fair."

He looked away from her then and buried his face in his green-gloved hands, rubbing his forehead as though he had a headache, before turning his attention to me. "Do you have anything you'd like to add Raven?"

"Robin, there's no point in getting so needlessly passionate about this. The possibility of someone getting injured or even killed has always existed. No one was at fault in this, today just happened to be the day it happened."

"Or maybe," Robin began thoughtfully, "maybe it was just that we were one person short."

"Robin, you're not gonna say what I think you're gonna because that is taking this crap too far," Cyborg jumped in.

"Is it Cyborg?" Robin yelled. "Raven, you were attacked and nearly killed two nights ago. This morning, after you recovered, you said that you weren't well enough to fight the HIVE. But you were still well enough to go traveling all over the city. You even went all the way up to Ashford for God's sake."

"What of it," I responded.

"What of it? You could've made a shield to catch those missiles, something no one else on this team can do. If you were capable of doing everything else you've done today you should've been able to do that."

"Well we'll never know, then, will we?"

Robin growled in response to my words. If he was looking for a fight, something to vent his anger on, I wasn't going to provide him with it. I stood up from where I was seated on the couch, thanked Cyborg for the pizza, and headed off for my room.

"Raven. I want to train with you in the gym tomorrow morning, 6:00 if you don't mind," Robin called after me. "I want to see just how much your accident has affected you."

I didn't stop to respond and only continued on to the safe confines of my room as I could hear the others berating Robin for everything he'd said to me.

Upon entering my room I was surprised to find my bed clean of any sign of the mess that had covered it earlier that morning. Starfire had stripped the bed and cleaned the sheets for me. Somehow, it made me feel sorry that I wouldn't be able to use my bed that night. It also unnerved me to know that Starfire had been that close to my blood supply while I was away.

I neglected to change into my nightclothes and remained in my black hooded sweatshirt and jeans. I filled my glass with the medical blood I had hidden and took a seat in my reading area. I knew I couldn't completely deny myself the blood but I felt that it would do me some good to try and control the urge that compelled me to drink the whole glass down. So I nursed it along, taking small sips every so often using every ounce of will I could muster to keep myself in check.

Some time ago the Titans had thwarted an attempted robbery of an antique shop. Out of appreciation for our efforts the storeowner gave us an old Edison Phonograph. I ended up taking the device for myself considering no one else showed a liking for it. The sound quality wasn't anywhere even remotely close to modern in its clarity. And yet, I found a certain retro-charm in it. It only came with one cylinder for my use, a recording of Archibald Joyce's _Song d'Automne_. The first time I'd played it I thought it was a lament. Upon further investigation I found it was a waltz. Joyce was actually known as the "English Waltz King." None of this, though, lessened my affection for the piece, as scratchy as the recording was.

So that night I played the four-minute long recording as I sipped my blood and thought about all that had transpired and what it meant.

_Weeks_ he said it would take. The thought alone was enough to make me despair. I had the distinct feeling that I simply wouldn't be able to last that long. I hated to admit it but the medical blood I was drinking wasn't lessening my hunger. It wasn't even having any lasting effects. It wasn't enough to keep me going. Would there be anything left to save by the time Dr. Lang had found a cure, if he ever did? I didn't allow myself to dwell too long on those thoughts and instead simply listened to my music.

As the final seconds of the recording winded down, and I was about to take my last sip of blood, Beast Boy knocked at my door, somehow I _sensed_ that it was he. I stopped and wondered for a moment what it was that made me think that before he knocked again.

"Raven um…can I talk to you for a minute," there was an uncharacteristic softness to his voice. I frowned, it seemed they all thought Robin had seriously hurt my feelings. _Perfect_. More attention was just what I didn't at that point. Given the opportunity they could find out about my condition, providing that they didn't smother me first with affections that I didn't want or need.

I turned off the phonograph, hid what remained of my glass of blood among the volumes on my bookshelf, and drifted quietly towards the door.

"What is it Beast Boy?" I asked the green changeling as the door slid open. "Do you have any idea how late it is?"

"Yeah, its 12:30. I know. I couldn't sleep and, I'm guessing you couldn't either."

I ignored the sympathetic look he gave me. "I'm sorry if my playing music at this hour caused you discomfort. I was planning to turn in now anyway."

"Into what?" he said with a smile and a giggle.

I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose, "Is this what you came here for Beast Boy? To make jokes."

"Oh no, I just…wanted to talk to you about earlier, what Robin said and everything, and about last night. Mind if I come in?"

"In lieu of having my door knocked over like the last time you tried to get in?"

"Hey, that was Cyborg who did the door breaking."

I smirked briefly, stepped aside and gestured for him to enter. He gave me a quizzical look, surprised that I'd actually allow him to enter let alone honor him with a smile, however small it may have been. Realizing that I truly meant for him to enter he slowly stepped over the threshold. If the other Titans were overly worried about me then it would be best to put a stop to it as soon as I could. The worst thing I could do for my cause would be to seal myself away in my room.

Although I'd always done it in the past, after my apparent near-death experience my solitary nature would carry a greater meaning to them. It could very well give them the impression that I was cutting myself off from the world perhaps due to insecurities arising from my experience. I had to appear open with them, if only to make them believe that nothing was wrong with me. Convincing Beast Boy would be far easier than convincing the others, but it would be a start.

I returned to my seat while Beast Boy moved to the other side of the room and began to play idly with a large globe I had, spinning it slowly.

"So, how are you feeling? Better?"

"Yes, the meditation I performed after I was attacked managed to heal the severest of my wounds. Beyond that I'm as well as I was before I left that night."

"That's great to hear. Um…you do understand that what Robin said…he didn't really…"

"Beast Boy, I've been on this team long enough to understand how Robin thinks and reacts to these sort of things. He was just looking for a target to vent his frustration at and that just happened to be me."

"So…what he said didn't bother you?"

"Not in the slightest. I'm sorry if you expected me to be depressed about it. I just took Robin's comments for what they were: the ineffectual outraged remarks of a person whose pride has been wounded."

"So, you're going to train with him in the morning like he told you to?"

"I don't see why I shouldn't. I think it's a good idea to see just what exactly I'm capable of after my accident."

"Yeah," he stopped spinning my globe suddenly, "about that accident, we've all been meaning to ask you about what happened but none of us have had the chance. Given everything that's happened today it's not hard to see why. I mean, first we couldn't ask last night cause' you needed your rest and all, then we couldn't ask you this morning cause' we all got called out on a mission, and then we couldn't ask you all day cause' you were gone, and then…" he was rambling.

"Beast Boy, relax, I get the point. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what happened myself. It all feels like some sort of bad dream that I can't seem to remember clearly. I guess that's why it doesn't really bother me."

"Yeah, but Raven you do realize that the guy that tried to kill you is still out there somewhere. He could come after you again."

"Somehow I doubt it," Beast Boy looked at me awkwardly obviously not understanding my meaning. "In any event this whole ordeal has at least taught me to be a little more cautious when I go out for a nighttime stroll"

"Yeah," he trailed off averting his gaze to the floor. "Raven, I'm really sorry about what I did. If it hadn't been for that stupid movie I rented then none of this would have happened. We almost lost you Raven…we almost lost you and it was my fault."

"I was the one who left the tower Beast Boy. That was my decision and I made it with a clear mind so stop thinking that right this instant. I don't blame you or any of the others for this. The only one responsible is the one who attacked me. No one else."

The green changeling then looked me straight in the eye with that same concerned expression he'd been wearing since we'd started talking. "So, you're actually alright with the fact that we might not catch this guy?"

I smiled at his words. "Beast Boy, people like the man who attacked me have a remarkable tendency to get just what they deserve. You can trust me when I tell you that that."

**Next Update**

The eighth chapter, titled "A Vampire's Strength," _will_ be posted on either the 24th or the 25th of January.


	9. Chapter 8 A Vampire's Strength

Author's Note – The pessimist in me doesn't like the way this chapter came out very much. I intend to continue on to the next chapter in any event although reviews of chapter 8 will help me decide whether or not a rewrite is necessary. So any and all comments will be greatly appreciated.

Chapter 8 – A Vampire's Strength

At 5:00 A.M. I walked into the vacant main room of Titans Tower, thankful that the morning was overcast and grey. A gentle rain pelted the giant windows that dominated the room. If the weather held I'd be able to go out without having to worry about being blinded by the sun. I'd dressed in my uniform of a black leotard and my blue cloak in preparation for whatever training exercises Robin had in mind. It most likely would be hand-to-hand combat; that had been what he'd most wanted to improve about my abilities. To some degree I could agree with him. When I was a mortal if one were to find a way to disable my powers I'd be effectively useless in a crisis, at least as far as my fighting ability was concerned.

Somehow, it had felt strange to stay up the whole night. After Beast Boy had left and I had the chance to finish what little remained of my medical blood. Afterwards I really didn't know what to do with myself. I spent most of the early morning hours either meditating to catch up on the time I'd missed the day before or simply listening to the noises the Tower, and its occupants made as the night wore on. It was close to five o-clock when I decided that I could move freely about the Tower without much trouble, besides I had one hour left till I was to meet Robin.

As I moved about and sensed the coming of the day it became more and more apparent to me that vampire's were very much like any nocturnal creature. Although it wasn't their natural time, they were capable of moving about during the daytime, although in a weakened state. It didn't feel like I had the same inexhaustible energy that I'd felt the night before, and it only made my hunger all the more palpable. In those early days it seemed that it was always with me, only finding minor appeasement from my nightly ration of medical blood. If I hadn't trained myself in self-restraint I don't know what I would have done to myself or to those around me…I don't like to think about that very much.

Absent-mindedly, my actions being controlled by habit, I headed for the kitchen area and set to work making my usual cup of tea. It was something I felt I _needed _at that moment. I went through the motions: heating a kettle full of water to a boil and pouring it into a mug. I only remembered the events of the previous night when I went to get a teabag and found the box was missing. Cyborg had already thrown it away. The thought was shattering, that my life had been so altered that I couldn't even enjoy the simple pleasure of my usual cup of tea. In anger I brought my fist down on the counter top with as much force as I could muster, and it went clean through the yellow corian.

The hard material shattered under the force of my blow, it felt like I'd merely punched through dry clay or mud. My mug filled with steaming water fell over, spilling its contents all over. Bits and pieces of the broken countertop came clattering to the floor leaving a small but discernible hole at the spot where I had struck with small but noticeable cracks leading away from it. I could only stand there, horrified at what I'd just done. Although it had been an act motivated by emotion my powers weren't involved in any way.

It had been pure physical strength that had broken the same hard material that had been used to make the tower's bathtubs and sinks. For one long moment I looked fearfully at my own hands, stunned into silence. My mind wandered back to a reading I'd once done of Bram Stoker's Dracula and Van Helsing's description of the titular Count having "in his hand the strength of twenty men."

"I hate surprises," I whispered, having had my fill of surprises in recent days. As I looked down at the damage I'd caused a sickening feeling crept up my stomach. There would be no hiding this from the others. I couldn't pin this on some other entity or force; this was my own doing and no one else's. They'd ask me how I could have done this and I wouldn't have an answer for them other than the truth. Then, as I thought this new problem I realized that the truth would probably be the best thing to tell them, but just enough of the truth to satisfy their curiosity. My telekinetic powers were inherently unstable. I could simply tell them that I'd lost control of my powers for a moment and the ruined countertop was the result.

I smiled at my idea. It wasn't far from the truth at all. The countertop would need to be replaced; I would gladly pay for it myself. I calmed myself with ease. All I'd have to do was stay calm, think things through, and keep in control of myself. And at that moment I had just discovered something new and terrible that I'd have to get a grip on, my physical strength. At that moment, I could only be thankful that I'd discovered it through damaging something replaceable like the countertop rather than during my training session with Robin.

After cleaning up the mess I'd made of the kitchen as well as I could I quickly made my way to the gymnasium. I felt I needed to see just how strong I was, then work to control it. I didn't believe I could do it before six-o-clock but anything I could do would help my situation. The gymnasium was filled with exercise equipment, some designed specifically for the use of only one Titan. My eyes wandered intently over a weight-training device Cyborg used. I wasn't very comfortable with the idea of seeing how many gross tons I could lift and instead moved to the center of the room where a large sand-filled punching bag was suspended from the ceiling by a six-inch length chain.

The punching bag was still fairly new; Beast Boy had destroyed the previous one (along with some other pieces of gym equipment) during the "Man-Best" debacle. I already knew I had become stronger than I'd been before; I now wanted to know by how much. The moment I extended a hand to touch it I knew something was different. It felt lighter somehow.

I set it in motion by pushing it away from me with my left hand while I balled my right hand in a fist. As the punching bag swung back at me I struck. The side of the punching bag seemed to compress in upon itself from the blow as the bag itself was launched backwards. It reached close to if not an exact 45-degree angle to the floor at its farthest point before coming back at me.

I struck again and again, each blow knocking the punching bag back farther than the last. I finally had to stop, fearing that if I hit it any harder the chain would send it crashing into the ceiling above, providing the chain didn't break first from the stress. After gently bringing the punching bag to a stop I stood there in the center of the gymnasium, going over what I'd learned. I'd learned that I was dangerous, perhaps _too_ dangerous. If I was capable of such displays of raw power during the daytime, how much more powerful would I be at night? How much more powerful would I be when using this strength in conjunction with my telekinesis? My powers were unstable enough already. How could I control it? Could I even control it?

"Hey Raven. Good to see you're up already," Robin called from the doorway behind me. I turned suddenly, having been so deep in thought at that moment that I hadn't even sensed his presence. He was dressed in his full uniform much in the same way I was, in preparation for our training session. Despite the seemingly pleasant morning greeting he'd given me, I could still sense an anger about him. Whether or not I was still the undeserving object of that anger I did not know.

"Good morning Robin. How did you sleep?" I asked plainly, calmly.

"Not very well."

"If it's any comfort to you I didn't sleep very well either."

"I'm sorry to hear that, you need as much rest as you can get," he spoke in a quiet tone. "Raven, I'd like to apologize for the things I said last night. What I said was wrong and I just…" he paused as if trying to find what to say. "The past few days have been insane with everything that's happened first you and now this whole thing with Mr. Frid and…this sort of thing isn't supposed to happen," the anger again slipped into his voice.

"Robin, as I told you last night, you weren't at fault, I wasn't at fault, none of us were at fault. Given the kind of villains we face, the manner in which some fights can escalate, this was bound to happen eventually."

"Raven, how can you resign yourself to it like that. I understand that you're not the most emotional person but doesn't it bother you that this is the first fatality we've ever had in three years of protecting this city? Doesn't it bother you that we're sending this man home in a box? Doesn't it bother you that you could have done something but weren't there to help? Why are you the only one of us who isn't upset about this?"

I didn't answer, I couldn't. I simply didn't know what to say. For the first time during my ordeal I couldn't come up with a lie to protect myself from his questions. How could I force myself to shed a tear over the death of a person who effectively destroyed my life? Although I didn't say anything, I didn't avert my gaze from Robin's form. I may not have felt the same outrage Robin and the others felt over the death of "Mr. Frid," but that didn't in any way validate Robin's aggressive desire to assign blame. This was an unforeseeable circumstance, but he either couldn't or wouldn't see that. After a while Robin gave a sigh and turned to leave.

"This morning you and I will be fencing. I have all the gear set up on the roof. I left a fencing sword and protective clothing outside your door. I'll be waiting."

And with that he left me. It wasn't the first time we'd had a fencing match. Robin had reasoned that the matches would help improve my reflexes, possibly even supply me with a form of weapon I could use in a fight if necessary. In any event, I couldn't help but be relieved that this "training session" would be weapons based rather than straight hand-to-hand. I felt I'd have a better chance of controlling a weapon in a fight instead of my own hands.

As he told me I would, I found all my equipment in the hallway outside of my room. All the protective clothing was made out of tough white nylon and was stacked in a neat arrangement next to my door. However, it was the fencing sword that caught my attention most of all. It wasn't the same type of sword we'd used in previous matches. I picked it up and was surprised to find myself holding an épée, the modern version of the classical dueling sword. Unlike the normal foil, the épée was a heavier weapon with a more rigid blade.

_A dueling weapon_, I thought. If Robin's intentions for this match hadn't been clear before, they certainly were now. He had a point to prove, and I would be more than happy to prove my own.

By the time I had dressed and reached the roof of Titans Tower the rain had stopped leaving only a grey and troubled sky in its wake. The masked Titan stood waiting for me on the helipad. All I could hear were the sounds of water washing against the shore and the occasional sound of seagulls soaring either overhead or somewhere below. At that height, the wind was relatively strong as well as bitterly cold.

Once we were standing opposite each other on the helipad, Robin took up his fencing sword, another épée, and pointed it towards me.

"I thought about it and decided a fencing match would be the best means to see just how capable you are, Raven. Depending on how you perform, I will decide whether or not you are ready to return to your duties. We can start whenever you're ready."

I smirked as I lowered my face guard and took up my fencing sword, signaling my readiness. He wanted to prove through this fight that I could have fought in the previous day's battle and thus assign blame. I'd be proving his point for him if I were to fight and hold my own against him. But, as I saw it whether or not I was capable of fighting was irrelevant. It didn't change the fact that none of us knew anyone was going to be killed that day.

Seeing that I was ready Robin lowered his own face guard and came at me.

**Next Update – Thursday February 2nd **

**Chapter 9 - Duel**


	10. Chapter 9 Duel

Author's Note – Well…this is the first extensive action scene that I've _ever_ written and I'm a little wary about it for that fact. Well…I hope you enjoy. Sorry I posted it so late in the day, for some reason wouldn't let me upload the chapter until late.

Chapter 9 - Duel

By the time I became a vampire, the Titans had been active in Jump City for a little over three years. During that time we'd defeated Slade on two separate occasions and just about ruined the HIVE Academy. However, in the early days of our team things didn't go nearly as swimmingly. The Tower's security, for example, was a joke.

There's something to be said for the fact that a seventy year old walking British stereotype like Mad Mod single handedly managed to pump the Tower's ventilation system full of knock-out gas and capture all of us without even so much as setting off an alarm. In addition, although the thought had crossed my mind at the time, apparently the others didn't see a need for security measures as far as incoming mail was concerned; otherwise we probably wouldn't have had our little encounter with the Puppet King and Starfire and I most likely would never have gotten to know each other.

Of course things improved as time passed. The Tower's security systems progressed to a point that one couldn't set foot on the land bridge connecting the Tower to the mainland without us knowing about it. And as far as the mail was concerned we managed to intercept and dispose of several letter bombs sent to us due to the added precautions. Supervillains do seem to love their toys…

But something else changed as well, with the passage of time we all became more of a team and worked as such. In the beginning we were so disorganized that it only took three metahumans to defeat the great Teen Titans, if only for a time. Those three were then the top students of the HIVE Academy: Jinx, Mammoth, and Gizmo.

Each member of the group had some unique ability that set them apart from the others and, to an extent, balanced out the other's abilities. Gizmo was a mechanical genius who prided himself on having designed and made all his own equipment and weapons. However, he was a very short person (the highest he ever grew was a little over three feet) and without his technology posed little to not threat.

Mammoth was, according to rumor, the result of a genetics experiment. A muscle bound behemoth whose very appearance would have made Darwin weep. His physical prowess complemented Gizmo's abilities nicely.

Then there was Jinx, the team leader. She was the highest ranked out of all three of them during her time at the HIVE Academy. If anything, in my eyes that knowledge made her the worst of that whole pathetic rabble. I admit I could respect her abilities, after all as the leader of her team she did the same type of work that Robin did, however I couldn't respect the life she'd chosen to waste those talents on…At least that was what I thought of her at that time.

By the end of that first day fighting the HIVE trio the three were packed off to prison and the name Slade had forever entered into Robin's vocabulary. We would encounter them and their school again and again over the following years. One such encounter came immediately after my bout with Robin on that cold spring morning…

A fencing match typically requires the two opponents to salute each other before it can begin. The salute consists of holding the blade in a vertical position and bringing the bell guard to face level before returning to an en garde position with the blade pointed at the opponent. Robin apparently didn't see fit to salute me and instead started towards me almost immediately.

In preparation for his attack I quickly moved into my stance, bending my knees slightly to allow for easier mobility. The usual stance, which I had fallen into almost immediately, requires a person to place their right foot forward facing the opponent and their left foot behind the right facing to the left.

It was cold that morning, or at least as cold as I could tell. As Robin came advanced towards me across the helipad I could see his breath filtering through his face guard in large smoky puffs. As I steadied myself and prepared to guard against his attack I couldn't help but wonder if he'd noticed that there wasn't any breath coming through my face guard…that I wasn't breathing at all. Even when I spoke the breath I exhaled wasn't even warm enough to show up in the cold air. He didn't seem to pay it any mind, though, as he finally reached me and prepared to strike.

The style of fencing that makes use of the épée is slightly different from the one most people are familiar of which makes use of the typical foil. In a match using a foil the only valid target point on the opponents body is the torso. If one can thrust their foil past the opponent's defenses and strike them in the torso then the point is awarded to them. When using an épée the opponent's entire body is a valid target thus making the act of defense more difficult than when using the standard foil.

All these thoughts rushed through my mind at a remarkable speed as I braced myself for Robin's first attack. It was then, as Robin brought his blade towards me, that something peculiar happened. To my eyes his movements seemed to slow themselves. It brought to mind the initial practice rounds Robin had lead me through for fencing, how he would move at a slow pace with his attacks and give me the time and opportunity to learn the motions involved in defending and attacking.

But it wasn't just the speed of his movements in comparison to mine that impressed me, it was also something that my eyes showed me. As Robin moved I could look at the extension of his arm and discern the manner in which his muscles were flexing and contracting with each motion. Based on instinct I found myself using what I saw to predict his movements and parry them more effectively

That was what I was reminded of as Robin attacked and I found myself effortlessly parrying his attempts. However, as I was strictly playing defense at that moment all I could do was retreat and defend from his attacks, however effectively I was doing so. Very quickly I found myself backed against the edge of the helipad with an eight-foot drop behind me. Robin faced me with his épée pointed directly at me, ready to strike.

"So was that really what you believed all this time Raven? That we couldn't help having someone killed in this city? That it was inevitable?"

"Yes," I replied simply.

"But why Raven? Why be so fatalistic about it. Nothing is set in stone."

"Is that what you think Robin? One day Slade tears up the streets of the downtown-shopping district with giant mechanical worms, another day Brother Blood attempts to drown the entire city with an artificial tidal wave. With criminals capable of bringing destruction on such a large scale how could we keep anyone from ever getting hurt? You should at the very least be pleased that it took three years before something like this happened."

"Pleased!" Robin incredulously spat the word out, "you think that I should be pleased!" he thrust the tip of his blade towards me. He was close enough to me that I didn't have time to parry his attack and without room to retreat I was trapped. Using my powers to fly out of the way would go against the rules Robin had laid down back when we'd first started fencing. At the last second I remembered my recent experience in the gymnasium with the punching bag.

_If I could kick that punching bag with enough force to nearly send it into the ceiling then maybe…_

I tensed the muscles in my legs like coiled springs and jumped with all the strength I could muster. I don't recall exactly how high or far I went when I launched myself into the air but I knew that I went clear over Robin and landed behind him. Seeing my chance I whirled about and pointed my own blade at Robin's back. His whole body tensed up in response to what he had just witnessed.

"Raven, what did we agree about using your powers in one of these matches," he spoke accusingly.

"I have remembered and followed all the rules you set down Robin, I assure you. I have also, as you requested, worked to improve myself physically. Why are you so surprised that I've finally shown some progress?"

"It was just unexpected, that's all…congratulations."

"Thank you Robin, now it's my turn to ask you a question. You asked me why I wasn't as upset about Mr. Frid's death as you or the others. I ask you, why are you so much more upset and vindictive about it than myself or even any of the others? Certainly all of the others feel some level of guild and remorse over this but none of them have been so outraged by my reactions to challenge me to a fencing duel conveniently disguised as a training session."

Robin growled under his breath and, ignoring my blade, turned towards me. "It doesn't matter what you or any of the others think. This was a disaster for us and there has to be someone who's responsible!" he cried launching himself at me. At this point it seemed any and all rules regarding a fencing match had been completely disregarded. Robin was striking at me with greater and greater amounts of force with each attack. The sound of his blade clashing against mine grew louder and louder, like the sound of a hammer striking a plate of steel. For a moment I even imagined I saw sparks flashing at the point where the two blades connected.

"I won't stand for this Raven!" he cried between attacks. "I won't!"

He was becoming unfocused because of his anger, I parried his attacks even easier than I had before and I barely retreated an inch. The skilled opponent I'd been fighting at the start had fallen prey to a reckless all-consuming fury.

After I parried one final attack from Robin we both retreated to opposite ends of the helipad and both moved into an en garde position with blades pointed at each other from across the distance. It was at that moment that I could appreciate how different we had become. I could see Robin moving with each deep breath he took, his blade rising and falling with each time he inhaled and exhaled. He was exhausted.

I, on the other hand, stood perfectly erect on the other side of the helipad. No detail of my appearance betrayed a single hint of exhaustion.

"Raven!" he called, "the blame for this has to rest on _someone's _shoulders."

"I agree whole-heartedly," I responded dryly.

Almost the moment I finished speaking he came charging at me, arm outstretched and blade pointed directly at me. I was stunned by his display of violence. Was he actually intent on hurting me? I resolved to end this immediately and with the state that Robin was in that wouldn't be very hard.

The moment Robin reached me a loud, almost ear splitting crash of metal against metal rang out over the rooftop. Robin's épée came clattering to the floor of the helipad several yards away from where I stood and the spiky haired boy himself dropped to his knees, gripping his shoulder in pain. With the match over I brought my blade to a vertical position before my face and saluted him. He looked at me one final time before averting his eyes.

"You have lost, Robin."

I cast aside my own épée and knelt down before him. A soft blue glow emanated from my hands as I gently placed them on the spot where he was wounded. It proved to be nothing more than a little bruising, and if he had been bleeding I'd have known long before I attempted to heal him. Once I was finished he rubbed the spot where he had been wounded, as though he were testing it.

"Batman," he sighed from behind his face guard without looking at me. "It was because of Batman. I've never heard of any single instance where someone lost their life while he was working. And here I am in my own city with an entire team of superheroes and someone gets killed. What does that say about me, Raven?"

"It means your human. It means that your fallible just like anyone else up to and including all the people who live in this tower."

He removed his face guard and brushed a sweat-drenched strand of hair out of his face and then looked off into the distance thoughtfully. He seemed about to speak when I heard the telltale sound of his communicator ringing. Quickly retrieving it he flipped it open and read the information displayed there.

"The HIVE is on the move again, in the southern warehouse district. The police have blocked off streets and made sure that they evacuated all the civilians they could but they think that there could be a few people inside the warehouse that Jinx, Mammoth, and Gizmo are in. They're waiting for us to move in," he looked up at me. "Raven, you do realize that you're coming this time, right?"

The sick feeling I'd felt earlier in my stomach when I'd first sent my fist clean through the countertop came back with a vengeance then. All I could do was nod, seeing how pointless it would be to argue especially after how I'd performed only moments ago. Maybe I could've acted a little more submissive towards him during that fencing match but it simply wasn't in my nature.

Thankful that Robin couldn't see the worried expression on my face because of the face guard I quietly reached down and helped him to his feet. We then proceeded down to the main room of Titans Tower to meet the others and to get ready.

**Next Update – Friday February 10th**

**Chapter 10 – Pink and Red**


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